New Routines

Hi. Remember me? I’ve been a bit MIA these past few days and I don’t like it one bit. My unplanned absence wasn’t exactly by choice though…

I’ve spent every day this week working as a substitute teacher. Monday was middle school math, Tuesday and Wednesday were elementary instructional assistants, and today was middle school ESL. Let me tell you, I. Am. Exhausted.

It’s frustrating being so tired all the time. I’m home by 4pm, but I’m too tired to function. So I nap. I snack. I read. I watch TV. And I go to bed. It’s been a monotonous and exhilarating routine yet I’m already bored of it. Obviously, the schedule I’ve kept this week is not working for me.

I guess that it’s a blessing that I’m starting the training for my new job on Monday. And after that I’ll delve into my new routine. I’ll learn the ins and outs of the job and there will be hours of trial and error. But eventually I’ll learn what works best for me.

I can already guarantee that my new schedule will include sleeping at least 8 hours a night (because God knows I neeeeed my sleep!), eating healthier (Smart Ones for lunch are okay, but a cup of coffee does not a healthy breakfast make), and writing regularly on my blog again (I’ve had a craving to write lately, but I couldn’t muster up the energy. My blog has suffered and this makes me sad).

So yes, a new routine is coming soon. I’m excited about the new schedule and the novelty of it all. I think it’s going to be a great step forward. (Except it always seems like I become much more stressed out during times of transition, so if you have any tips or advice about how to adjust gracefully I’d hugely appreciate it.)

Reviewing Year Twenty-four

Today I turn twenty-five!

I have a sneaky little feeling that this year is going to be amazing. I mean, it has to be with the new apartment, job, roommate, town and… life. But before I get ahead of myself, this past year has been filled with memories I don’t want to forget. Here is just a snippet of what happened:

1. I began my internship at an adult home working with clients with schizophrenia.
2. I went on a few dates with NB.
3. I saw Hanson in concert.
4. I missed my dad.
5. I became obsessed with Twilight.
6. I signed up for online dating.
7. I went on a date that cost over $1,300.
8. I attempted to navigate the “friend” category with C.
9. I had some really tough days.
10. I had some really bad dates.
11. I took more steps to become a counselor.
12. I met some awesome bloggers.
13. I spent Spring Break in Las Vegas.
14. I worried about the future.
15. I had a really great weekend.
16. I met a “fake blogger”.
17. I graduated.
18. I went on a cruise.
19. I decided to switched blogs.
20. I left New York City for Texas.
21. I went on several interviews.
22. I had an amazing Gap Party.
23. I almost moved to Korea.
24. I got a grown up job.
25. I bought a car.

26. I wished for year twenty-five to filled with just as many wonderful and perfect memories.

A Vlog: Some Major Life Changes

So much has happened over the last few days that it would take forever to write about it all. And a vlog is just easier.

In case you don’t feel like watching the whole thing (or are too lazy to click out of your reader to my actual blog…):

• I bought a car. It’s so pretty and shiny and black!
• I took the National Counselor Exam and passed. Woo!
• I looked at apartments and found nothing. Boo.
• I met a new roommate through Craigslist… and he’s really cute!
• I saw Jason Mraz in concert. So much fun!
• I started packing away my life in boxes… again.
• I begin the moving process tomorrow. Kind of excited…
• And my 25th birthday is on Sunday! Yay!

So yes, life had been crazy hectic. I hope to get back to regular blogging soon, but for now you can enjoy five minutes of my rambling.

This Is What They Call Irony

No less than 6 hours after I published my last post did I get a phone call offering me a job.

Seriously.

Cue five minutes dancing, jumping, and screaming around the house. Someone likes me and wants to hire me!!!

Cue calling my mom, sister, and best friend. AHHHHHH!

Cue indecisiveness. OMG what about TRAVELING??

This is a job in Texas, not traveling Asia, South America, or Europe. A job where I have my own apartment, a car, and a daily routine. A job that is dichotomous to the plan I wrote about yesterday.

So now I’m stuck with a decision. I must reply with a YES or NO by 5pm today.

Since I’m horrible at decisions, no less life changing ones, we’re making a list. HELP!

Pros:

I think the work will be amazing.

It would be my first grown up job which is exciting.

I would feel accomplished and successful.

I would gain a lot experience in the counseling world and be able to use the degree I spent the last two years working toward.

I would have a salary, benefits, and insurance.

I would be able to gain hours toward my counseling license.

I would be able to rent my own apartment and buy my own car- two things that have been on my To Do list for months.

It could also be an adventure…

Cons:

The pay is not that great; it’s non-profit. (I might even have to get a part-time job on the side, just to pay bills).

I would have to leave Austin, my friends, and family to move to CollegeTown (an hours an fifteen minutes away).

I would have to make new friends (which is also a Pro, but I consider this stressful, so it’s going to be a Con).

My “travel the world” plans would be put on hold… thus giving them the option of never occurring. (Yes, I know I can travel the world later, but it will be much more difficult. And all of the comments on my previous post make me want to pack my bags immediately and jump on the first airplane out of North America).

So blog friends, what do you think? There are a lot more pros than cons, but I think the “traveling abroad” plan is the biggest negative.

What would you do if you were in my shoes?

Complete Irresponsibility vs. Complete Living

I got a crazy idea yesterday. An idea I didn’t think would have again…

I want to live abroad.

The realization came as I began to plan out my life over the next few years. In my day dream I saw apartments filled with fluffy couches and pretty curtains, I saw a new car, I saw a job where I worked regular 8-5 hours, and I saw weekends with friends. I saw Texas.

And while all of this sounds perfectly fine, it’s just that. Fine. It’s not exciting, or amazing, or a can’t-fall-asleep-because-my-life-is-so-awesome feeling. It’s just fine.

I don’t want to settle for “fine”. I want my life to be all those other adjectives, but not “fine”.

When I graduated from college I participated in a program where I taught English in France for seven months. I was terrified and wasn’t quite set on the idea, but I went, I did it, and I loved every second. I loved living in a different culture. I loved being able to practice my French. I loved being able to travel across Europe on school holidays. Of course there were times when I was homesick and lonely, but overall, the experience was amazing.

I want to have a similar experience, one where I’m exploring the world and learning about cultures, people, and places, before I’m too set in my ways. I want to experience this before I have a job, before I have a boyfriend or husband, and before I have children. I’m afraid if I wait too long, I won’t want to leave my life here for something unknown across the world. I’m afraid that if I don’t go now, I’ll miss my chance and will never go.

So yesterday I began researching programs to teach English abroad. I could go to China, Korea, Japan, Thailand, the Czech Republic, Costa Rica, Brazil… there are endless choices.

Most of the programs offer benefits including free airfare, housing, health insurance, and paid vacation. Who wouldn’t want to go with incentives like that?

My mom thinks I’m being irresponsible. She says I should wait to hear about my job offer. She says I should work for a year to pay off some of my loans. But I don’t want to do that. Like I said, I’m afraid that if I don’t go now, I’ll never go. Once I have a job, I’ll be too comfortable with a steady income to want to give it up. Now seems like the perfect time. I don’t have a job. I don’t have a car. I don’t have a boyfriend. I wouldn’t be giving anything up.

But if I don’t go I’ll be giving up on an adventure. I’ll be giving up on life experiences.

I know I seem so undecided about everything on my blog right now. Honestly, that’s how I feel. One day I want to be a substitute teacher living at home with my mom. The next I want to move to Korea for a year. Sometimes I think it would be easier if I had gotten a job offer right out of grad school. I would have been working for 3 months now. My life wouldn’t be filled with so much indecision, but I also wouldn’t be considering this amazing opportunity to travel and see the world. Nothing is set in stone yet. I’m still researching programs online. I’m still talking to friends who teaching abroad. I’m still trying to convince you to go with me. I’m still brainstorming. But really, this might happen!

And while it may a bit irresponsible to get up and try something like this out of the blue, I also think this is what they call living.

What do you call living?

Fridays are for Fun

It’s Friday. Yay! Also, it’s a three-day weekend. Double Yay! In lieu of this special day today’s post is going to be a conglomeration of random thoughts. Hope you’re ready for it.

First things first, thank you for your supportive and lovely and encouraging comments on my last post. You guys are awesome. You made me feel a little less awkward and little more real. Always a good thing. Bubble baths are normal, right? I won’t find out about the job until the end of next week, at the earliest, so for now I’m just waiting. Although I’ve gotten quite good at playing this waiting game, I sure am starting to get sick of it! I even had a dream that someone randomly called me and asked me to work for them last night. That would be awesome; too bad it was just a dream.

(Random side note: I’m sitting outside on the back patio, peacefully enjoying my iced coffee and catching up on all things internet, when a stupid mosquito decided it’s okay to fly over and bite me. Seriously. Three times on the arm. Not cool, mosquito, not cool. It’s okay though because after I realized he was buzzing around I squished him and he is no more. I win.)

Also, I decided it was time to take a more little control over my life. I feel like I’ve been treading water lately just waiting to hear about a job or make my next decision. It’s not very pro-active. So, I wanted set some goals for myself. I began making a “Life List”, but soon realized some of those goals would take YEARS to accomplish (ie. Get Married, Have a Child, Travel to all Continents, etc.). So I settled for something a little more reasonable, 101 in 1,001. Have you heard of this project?(Probably, it’s all over the blogosphere!)

You can check out my list here. I’ve added it as a page on the top of this blog so I can keep track of my status and I’ll be sure to update whenever I accomplish a goal. I’ll even blog about it! The project starts today and will run through June 1, 2012. Does that seem really far away to anyone else? (That’s also the year of my ten year high school reunion, but let’s pretend that’s not happening yet, okay?) I’m particularly excited about numbers 6, 18, 30, 49, 58, and 94.  I think it’s going to be LIFE CHANGING!

Anyway, I don’t have any set plans for this weekend, but I’m hoping there will be a bar-be-que involved and maybe even a little pool-lounging. The weather is forcasting some rain, but I’m going to try to ignore that (Oh! Or maybe I can accomplish #70!). What are your plans this Labor Day weekend?

The Interview (I’ve lost count what number this is…)

(This post could also be titled “The One Where I Talked About Bubble Baths And The Creepy Old Man” or “The One Where I Make A Complete Fool Out Of Myself In Front Of Nine Strangers”. “The Interview” is just much more concise.)

Today’s interview went… well, I think. Only it seems I’m becoming a little too comfortable answering questions about myself. This is how it unfolded.

I sat in the waiting room patiently. I saw a group of eight women walk out from behind a door, through the waiting room, and into another room. “They seem nice”, I thought to myself. And I waited some more. A few minutes later the Director walked out and greeted me. And then, “This way, Ashley”, as he guided me to a room. The room where the eight women had just gone.

Seriously?

Yes, I had an interview in front of NINE people.

It. was. intimidating.

At first I was in shock. I tried to calm my nerves as the director spoke for a few minutes and each of the women introduced themselves. It was explained that each person would ask me one question and I would have the opportunity to respond and then ask questions, if necessary.

Once I answered the first question I knew I was golden. My confidence level rose. I smiled. I relaxed.

“Tell us about your experiences working with at-risk children.”

Piece of cake.

“Have you ever had a difficult session with a client? How was that for you? What techniques did you use?”

Umm, yeah. I worked with clients with schizophrenia and borderline personality disorder for a year. I had several difficult clients.

So I spoke about that for a few minutes.

“How do you feel about teamwork?”

No brainer! I love teamwork!

“This can be a demanding and stressful position. How do you cope with stress?”

“I’ve learned that it is best, for me, to leave my work in the office when I walk out at 5pm. I try to spend my evenings with family and friends and try to relax. And well, I like to take bubble baths…”

Did I just admit to nine strangers that I like bubble baths? Yes, I think I did.

Thank goodness no one laughed out loud at my answer. I can only imagine what they were thinking. Let’s hope it’s something along the lines of “Oh me too!” and not “Wow. This girl is a freak!”

The questions continued. And then they asked this:

“Sometimes it can be difficult keeping boundaries with clients. Have you ever had an issue with this in the past and how did you cope with it?”

So obviously I told this story. You know, the one about the old man who kept asking me out on dates. That one.

It got a few laughs. Which is good considering I thought I had ruined my chances of being seen a potential employee with the bubble bath comment.

At least I still have a slight chance of being hired. Hey, maybe they’ll think I’m endearing?

Staying Flexible

When I was still in New York I had big dreams about what my life would be like once I moved to Texas. I thought I would move into my mom’s house while I continued job hunting, I would secure a job within a few weeks, then I would move out, rent my own apartment and buy my own car (with the money from my new salary). But that hasn’t happened, obviously.

I’ve been home for six weeks now and I’m still living at home. I still don’t have a job. I’ve been on three interviews, but have yet to be offered a paying position, stupid recession. At first I was discouraged, but then I made a few adjustments and altered my plan.

I decided that I was going to work as a substitute teacher this year and find a part-time job to work at on the side. I filled out my substitute application last week and I’m scheduled to be fingerprinted on Thursday. This would ultimately lead me to to the alternative teaching certification program which I would begin in a couple months. I decided I would teach for two years and then become a school counselor. With this plan I decided I was okay with the idea of living at home for at least six more months while I saved up money and searched for a real teaching job. That was the plan until yesterday and I was excited about it.

But then I got a call about a position I applied for several weeks ago and for which I will interview tomorrow. It’s through a non-profit agency working with children, adolescents, and families dealing with family conflict, runaways and delinquent behavior. It sounds like something I would really enjoy and would be a great first job. The only concern I have is that the position is not in Austin. It’s in a small town about 100 miles north (actually, it’s the town where I went to college) which is not my first choice of places to live by any means. It’s away from my friends and family, and the town is pretty boring (I lived there for four years, I’m not exaggerating on this fact). But I guess that’s the only negative.

Of course, I’m not getting too set on the idea of moving yet… I haven’t even interviewed and have no idea what my chances are of getting hired. But still. It’s stressful to think about. I thought I had a set plan and now it’s been thrown up in the air again. It makes me feel a bit unprepared and restless. Flighty even. I’m so ready to settle down and start making some decisions about my life. I wish I could have a set, solid plan, you know? But then again, most plans don’t work out the way you’d like anyway so maybe it’s better to be flexible.

Anyway, wish me luck on my interview tomorrow! I’ll be sure to keep you updated.

Settling

Today I am also guest blogging for Amber at Girl With The Red Hair. I’m sharing all the details of my long-distance relationship that somehow lasted SIX YEARS! I know! You don’t want to miss that!

Since I’ve decide to alter my career plans a bit, I’ve been met with some mixed reactions from people. My family and most friends are completely supportive and excited for me. However, one friend is telling me that I shouldn’t go into teaching. “It’s not your first choice” (Really? When did I say what my first choice was?) and “Don’t settle!” (Since when is deciding to be a teacher settling? Is there something “better” I should be doing with my time because I can’t think of a single thing.) You mean I’m not getting a job as a counselor right out of school? That I’m pursuing another career path that I’ve always wanted to try? That I’m really excited about this new path and can’t wait to get started? Is that settling?

I don’t think so.

It’s frustrating, though, all these people giving me their opinions and wanting me to feel the same way. I’m trying to figure out what I want and what will make me happy. But everything becomes so confused when I have multiple opinions thrown at me from all directions.

I’m trying to remember that this is my life and I need to focus on just that. It doesn’t matter if one particular friend doesn’t agree with my decision. She isn’t the one who has to live with it. And she won’t be the one waking up each morning either excited for the new day or dreading the next 8 hours. I am.

I’m not settling. I’m taking a detour, one that I am extremely excited about.

So, I’m curious. Have you ever dealt with a situation like this? Have you been met with conflicting ideas about what people think will make you happy? How did you deal with it?

Busy-ness

Okay guys, here’s the deal. I’ve been super busy and haven’t had time to sit at my computer for more than 5 minutes in the last few days. Crazy, I know. And I’m sooooorry. I really do miss all of you and I miss blogging too. I manged to squeeze in some blogging time, but this is going to be a quick post. I have to run to Subway in a few minutes and buy some lunch for me and my mom and then keep running errands all afternoon (finger-printing, Sprint store, etc.). Ahhhh… must. breathe.

But good news? I applied to be a substitute teacher today. That’s exciting, right? So hopefully some teacher will take the day off and I can take their place and get paid $85. That would be awesome.

Also, I’ve kind of decided that since no jobs are calling me back that I will start down another path. I’ll sub for a few months/volunteer at counseling centers (and actually use my degree!) and apply for alternative certificaton at the same time. Remember when I wrote about that?  If everything goes smoothly I should be certified to teach school in a few months and then I can start looking for a teaching job. Most likely I wouldn’t  start teaching until next August since there wouldn’t be any openings before then, but then I could teach for two years and become a school counselor. So that’s the life plan as of now. I’m really excited about it!

Hopefully I will get some down time in the next few days so I can catch up on my reader and start leaving comments of love again soon. Until then, I’ll be the girl with her new blackberry attached to her hand.