Today is my first day working at my internship.
As I said before, I am nervous, excited and dreading this, all at the same time. I know it will be a great learning experience, and I know I will improve my counseling skills, but it’s something about change that makes my stomach turn.
I don’t like it.
I’m scared that I will be known as the “little young White girl”. After all, most of the clients are Hispanic and African American men in the 40’s or 50’s. I’m scared they will be wondering how I can help them? How do I know more about this world than they do? How will I be able to serve them? How will I show them that I can do this? That I do know what I’m doing.
I’m scared I will be put into a situation that I don’t know how to get out of. I’m sure this will happen at some point, but still, I’m scared. How will I react? What will I say to that client who is psychotic? What about the woman hearing voices? What will I say to her?
I am scared of the unknown. I am scared of being put on the spot and not knowing what to do.
I am scared that my schooling and clinical observation won’t be enough to carry me through this.
I am scared that I will fail.
I’m just scared.