How do you know if something is right? If it’s what you should do? That it’s what you want to do? How do you know if you like something, or someone, when it is so different from what you are used to?
His hugs make me feel safe, his smile make me warm inside, his hands make me feel wanted. I like the conversations we have, even if they are strange.
He is so different than what I’m used to, so different from C.
He has no plan. He is spontaneous. He tells jokes. He laughs constantly. He makes pizza from scratch. He drinks caffeine before going to bed. He is unpredictable. He keeps me wanting more.
But then he walks away.
And I second guess myself and the situation. Yes, this is different. Yes it’s a little weird, he’s a little weird, but that’s okay, right?
I can adapt. When you meet someone new, you can’t stay the exact same way you were with someone else, can you?
I feel like I’m new to all of this. I feel like I have no idea what I’m doing. I hate not knowing what to do. I hate not knowing.