Too missionary

Last night I went out with my roommates, A and E, to celebrate E’s birthday. I had a suspicion that they were trying to set me up with one of E’s boyfriend’s friends. I was right.

We got to the lounge and I was prompted to sit next to a specific guy, we’ll call him Ben. There was no initial attraction to Ben, but I decided to be nice and at least see if he could hold a conversation.

It. was. dull.

My roommate, A, realized how bored I was and quickly told our other roommate, E, that Ben was too “missionary” for me.

Hahahahaha.

(Quick disclaimer: There is nothing wrong with the missionary position. But sometimes a girl just wants a little excitement in bed.)

But really, this guy was completely boring. There was no attraction and no way I would ever go out with him.

A few minutes later A comes to my rescue and starts talking to Ben (so I don’t have to). She asks him about his job and other regular bar-talk. It was then that E’s boyfriend comes over and says, “Why are you talking about his job? That’s lame!”

So A, being the gem that she is, says, “What do you want me to ask him? What his favorite sex position is?”

Then she turns to Ben and asks, “What’s your favorite sex position?”

His answer?

“Missionary.”

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30 responses to “Too missionary

  1. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Too perfect!!

  2. awesome.

  3. Funny! 🙂

  4. Little Miss Obsessive

    LOL! Omg how funny 🙂

  5. AHAHAHHAHAHAH, that is too funny!

  6. I don’t know how you EVER kept from laughing!!! 🙂

  7. Hehehehe. Thank you. You brightened my day. 🙂

  8. little miss optimist

    Haha, that is hilarious!

  9. Oh god. How great is that!

    hahaha

    Why is it that friends always SWEAR you’re gonna like a guy just because you both happen to be single? Not all single people are matches made in heaven, that’s why they’re still single! haha

  10. That’s absolutely amazing. I feel like that’s something that would only happen in a movie…

  11. that’s too funny! I don’t know of any guy that would admit that, even if it’s true, hahaha!

  12. ahhh hahahaha…… confession- that was my ex’s only move. needless to say we broke up after 6wks

  13. hahhaha! oh geez..

  14. notthelifeiordered

    HAHAHAHAHA perfect!

  15. Haha! I can’t believe that was his answer!

  16. Haha!

    This is one of the most perfect stories I have heard in aaages.

    It reminds me of a time last year when this guy was hitting on me at a bar by telling me how much money he makes, how big his house is, how expensive his car is etc. The barmen asked me what I thought of him and if I was falling for his lines, to which I replied, “No of course not! He’s a real dick!”

    At the end of the night, as Mr Dick was leaving he handed me his card. And what was his full name?

    Johannes Kock.

    Priceless.

  17. Love it!

  18. hahahahahahahah, that’s awesome.

  19. Hahahahaha thanks for sharing.

  20. Princess Extraordinaire

    Classic!

  21. well-intentioned heartbreaker

    hahahh, ooh i love it.

  22. LOL! That is hilarious! Great story. Did you about die laughing?

  23. That’s a riot! Btw, just found your blog – love this!

  24. Booo. Not adventurous enough!!

  25. Ha! Great story.

    And “too missionary” is a great way to sum things up.

  26. Hahaha that’s perfect!

  27. oh, no. that’s just too funny.

  28. hahahahahhaha wow

  29. god, and let me guess, with the lights off too?

    B O R I N G.

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