Lunch Date With M

Today I had my second date with M. We met 11am in front of this cute little Italian restaurant only to discover they didn’t open until 11:30. Oops.

So we walked a few blocks to the nearest Chipotle (my suggestion). He’d never been there, so after I made fun of him for that, I gave my suggestion on what to order and told him I thought he would love it. I mean, who doesn’t love a huge burrito filled with grilled chicken, cheese, rice, beans, lettuce, and spicy salsa?

And you know what? He did love it. He loved it so much he ate the ENTIRE burrito.

While we were eating we talked… because that’s what you do on dates.

He remembered that I don’t like scary movies. He asked more about my internship. He talked more about his job. And then we got onto the topic of relationships.

He asked when my last relationship ended. I told him. He asked about my longest relationship. I told him. I asked him the same questions. We talked about why those relationships didn’t work out. It was nice getting that information out of the way.

I think I could really like this guy, there are just a few things that I’m second guessing. He is very concerned about the economy. It’s a justifiable concern, but his job is secure, so he doesn’t need to worry about that. He just keeps bringing up money and how he likes to save it. How you never know when you’re going to lose your job. How you shouldn’t spend money all the time. Blahblahblah. I don’t like that. I don’t want to be with someone who is obsessed with saving money. It will stress me out.

Another thing… I feel really superficial saying this, but looks do count for something, right? I think his arms are really skinny and I don’t like that. I can’t be sure since I’ve only seen him wear a long sleeve shirt, but from what I can tell, they are small. Like as skinny as my arms. I don’t need a guy who is huge, but I like a little muscle. Some definition or something. Maybe it’s just from his marathon training? Maybe?

Also, I think he wants the perfect family. And I’m not sure I can give that to him. I have a lot of baggage and my family is no where near perfect. I don’t know if he can accept that. So that’s something else I’m still thinking about.

But overall, I think this could go somewhere. He’s really nice, I enjoy talking to him, and I think we could have a lot of fun together. So it’s a possibility.

I could tell he wanted to kiss me as we were saying goodbye, but I went for a hug. We didn’t make plans to see each other again since we’re both busy for the next few nights, but we said we’d email.

I’m about 98.4% sure there will be a third date.


23 responses to “Lunch Date With M

  1. If you don’t have any other hang ups regarding this guy, I would say stick it out. Lots of times the things that trip us up in the beginning don’t matter by the time we’re in love. And all of the guys that I thought were perfect when we started dating? Every single one of them wound up having some super unforgivable flaw that was completely not discernable upon first meeting them. I hope this works out for you. He sounds so nice… and like a good distraction from the ex and his mind games.

  2. Princess Extraordinaire

    It sounds promising…and other then a few minor snafus I think you are in a good situation. I understand your hesitance, especially with the money topic, but hopefully it is a superficial concern and nothing more….

  3. Yay! This definitely sounds promising! I can’t wait to hear more about him.

  4. Sounds like it was a a bunch of fun, it’s hard to go-with-the-flow in dating, but it sounds like it has the makings of being a good time.

    I think everyone wants a perfect life, but I’ve found that perfect is different and it changes all the time – or it has for me. I hope it stays fun for you.

  5. I wouldn’t worry about that stuff just yet. Just take it day by day.

    glad it went well though!!

    I heart Chipotle! If i know someone who’s never had it I make them go!

  6. not too bad! and i’d rather be with a saver than a spend-a-holic up to his ears in debt.

  7. I hate skinny arms but love chicken legs.

    weird I know.

    Sounds promising, and there is plenty of time to figure out the rest.

  8. Tristan | the almost right word

    Yay for a successful second date! It’s good to figure all this stuff out — what clicks, what doesn’t, what might turn you off, what just doesn’t fit. But, overall, it sounds like you’re having a good time and that is what counts…for now. Who knows where it will go or what it will be. I don’t think there is reason to worry about any of that right now. So congrats! And keep us posted!!

  9. Glad it went well!

    Oh, and my hubby is that way about’s easy to overlook, although sometimes I feel the urge to strangle him πŸ™‚

  10. I’m glad it went so well πŸ™‚ Trying to figure out if someone is right for you is not always the easiest thing, so just follow your heart! I’m sure the 3rd date will be just as good as the last two!

  11. Sounds like a nice date. Hope everything works out with him and if not..well there are other fish in the sea right?

  12. It sounds like you two are hitting it off! At this stage in the game, I’d try to overlook the little hang-ups because down the road they’ll probably be easier to accept. He sounds like a sweet guy and it’s nice that you felt comfortable enough with each other to discuss you relationship histories.

    I can’t wait to hear about the third date!

    (P.S. Your email went to my SPAM folder. I’ll reply ASAP and we’ll plan a day to meet up!)

  13. He sounds like a nice guy, take it one date at a time before letting the bigger things bother you. Looking forward to hearing about the third date. πŸ™‚

  14. The Passionate Book Worm

    This guy sounds like he’s worth exploring. The money thing would bug me too though. Third date sounds like fun!

  15. You seem to have had a good time over the past two dates, so it’s worth getting to know him better I think.

    The first couple dates can be awkward, attempting to put your best face forward and impressing the other person. Maybe his money talk is an attempt to let you know that he’s secure and reliable that way?

    Maybe over time his scrawny arms will become endearing? πŸ˜‰

  16. insomniaclolita

    go on the third date and dig up more things maybe? lol if you like the guy so much maybe some things can be compromised.

  17. I love the beginning of new relationships, especially when you see potential in the relationship… You’re always going to find some things that you aren’t fond of but if you’re 98.4% sure it could work, then I would stick with it – LOL PS I’m a new reader of your blog and I love it!

  18. M. might think he’s showing you his ‘financial responsibility side’ by talking about the economy. But honestly – if these are your two biggest complaints – that he might think about fiances too frequently, and might have chicken arms? – then you’re doing really well! πŸ™‚

    Go out again.. see how you feel. No sense in throwing one back until you’re certain.

  19. Very exciting! And honestly, I wouldn’t get too hung up on those things just yet. You’ve only been out a few times and there doesn’t seem to be a reason to walk on egg shells about it or anything. It seems you guys have been pretty open about some things (like relationships) already, so when it comes to the family thing, I’m sure it will be similar.

    And seriously, who ISN’T worried about the economy right now? Whether their job is secure or not? People our age haven’t lived through something like this and it can be scary.

  20. Yay! I’m glad it went well. He may just be nervous. I know that I ramble when I’m nervous so maybe he is just rambling about the economy and not actually all that concerned. And I feel ya on the arms thing. I like muscle.

  21. I know you didn’t ask for advice, but still: I say go for it, Ash.

    No one is perfect – you are not ‘settling’ by dating a guy who isn’t 100% perfect in every single little way. πŸ™‚

    Plus, skinny guys are cute. And you KNOW he’s not going to end up with a big belly in the future if he’s all healthy and running and stuff. So, there’s that. πŸ™‚

  22. Okay, you are not the only one that has these crazy pre-judgment issues!I find myself doing EXACTLY the same thing. “His nose is kind of funny,” I’ll think. “I don’t really like how obsessed he seems with going to church.” I do all of this like I’m some sort of dating princess who’s got to sift through the riff-raff, weed out the undesireables, until Mr.Perfect-in-every-possible-way comes to kneel before my throne. Except I don’t think he’s coming. Because I don’t think he exists.

    I think leaving M as a “possibility” is an excellent medium, and go you for keeping some boundaries till you’ve learned more about him as a person (rather than focusing on him as your future).

  23. I’ve never been a saver but this economy even has me worried. Cut him a little slack because most likely it is stressing him out and he’s just trying to make it all work. If he is so tight that he won’t spend any money during dates etc, that’s a different problem. But anyone that’s aware realizes it’s smart to cut back a little now.

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