The Valentine’s Date

Valentine’s Day was on Saturday.

D and I sent texts back and forth all afternoon. He said he wanted to take me for tapas at 6pm and then a movie at 10pm(decided the ESB was a no-go because of the weather). I told him I wanted to see Coraline in 3D. I didn’t care if he thought I a freak or a loser. I thought it would be fun, and really, I don’t want to date a guy if he can’t have a little fun and doesn’t mind wearing 3D glasses on a date.

At 5:30 I sent him a text saying “Tapas at 6, right?” I left my apartment at 5:45 without hearing back from him. At 5:50 he replied, “The movie isn’t until 10, so let’s wait and meet up at 7”. Which would have been fine except I was already on the subway half way to the restaurant.

At first I was angry. I felt like he was very disrespectful and rude. I had been working on my paper all afternoon and could have used another hour to keep working. So, I spent the next hour at Starbucks writing on a napkin. Yeah, I’m cool.

When it was close to 7 I decided to just try to have fun. Maybe he had a good excuse for changing the time at the last minute.

I met him at the restaurant. He apologized, but didn’t give a reason except “I thought it would be better”. Whatever.

We had sangria and two orders of tapas- cheese stuffed red peppers and chorizo. The food was delicious. The sangria was strong. We also got a free glass of champagne. We both got tipsy and that made the conversation good.

We walked a few blocks to another bar to have another drink while we waited for the movie to start. I guess that was a bad idea because when we got to the theater the movie was sold out.

I suggested that we just go to another bar nearby and play pool. So we did. He ordered me a Blue Moon and we played a few games with a couple from South Carolina. I had a good time, but around midnight I started getting tired. I text my friends to come pick me up in a cab (a previously arranged plan) and they were there within 15 minutes.

I’m not sure how D felt about my whole leaving-without-inviting-him-home plan. He said his stomach was upset so I thought he would leave when I did, but after I got in the cab he walked back into the bar. Maybe he was looking for someone to take home? I don’t know.

I text him when I got home and said I had fun and maybe next time we could see Coraline. He wrote back “Same here! Sure, next time.”

And I haven’t heard from him since.

Blogfriends, what do we think of this? Is the last-minute time change enough to be cautious? Should I wait until he calls me? Should I ask what he did after I left the other night? I really hate all these questions.

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66 responses to “The Valentine’s Date

  1. Okay, I really don’t mean to diss on this guy if you do in fact have feelings for him, but I think it was extremely rude that he changed the dinner time plans 10 minutes before the dinner. An hour before? Cool. 10 minutes? So not cool. And the fact he didn’t even have any reasoning besides he thought it would be better? What about your thoughts and needs? (ie:paper) I don’t know. Maybe he’s a good guy, but the at home movie date gone wrong and then this? He just seems like a guy who’s wrapped up in himself, and where does that leave room for you?

  2. Okay, I really don’t mean to diss on this guy if you do in fact have feelings for him, but I think it was extremely rude that he changed the dinner time plans 10 minutes before the dinner. An hour before? Cool. 10 minutes? So not cool. And the fact he didn’t even have any reasoning besides he thought it would be better? What about your thoughts and needs? (ie:paper) I don’t know. Maybe he’s a good guy, but the at home movie date gone wrong and then this? He just seems like a guy who’s wrapped up in himself, and where does that leave room for you?

  3. Maybe he really did have an upset stomach at the beginning of the date. Could have been nerves or something. That’s probably why he was so late responding and without explanation. Who wants to tell their date that they are changing the time because they’re sitting on the crapper? 😛

  4. Maybe he really did have an upset stomach at the beginning of the date. Could have been nerves or something. That’s probably why he was so late responding and without explanation. Who wants to tell their date that they are changing the time because they’re sitting on the crapper? 😛

  5. I say wait until he calls. Its his loss if he doesn’t!

  6. I say wait until he calls. Its his loss if he doesn’t!

  7. lame. lame AND disrespectful. so he basically just said that he’d rather do something else than spend an extra hour with you. eff that. plus changing plans last minute and leaving you hanging? with no explanation? and all this within the first few dates, when you’re normally on your best behavior, trying to impress? do. not. like.

    BUT do make sure to go see Coraline. it’s a great movie, and the 3D effect is surprisingly good. you can only see it in 3d through this weekend after which it gets kicked out of the 3d screens by Jonas Brothers.

  8. lame. lame AND disrespectful. so he basically just said that he’d rather do something else than spend an extra hour with you. eff that. plus changing plans last minute and leaving you hanging? with no explanation? and all this within the first few dates, when you’re normally on your best behavior, trying to impress? do. not. like.

    BUT do make sure to go see Coraline. it’s a great movie, and the 3D effect is surprisingly good. you can only see it in 3d through this weekend after which it gets kicked out of the 3d screens by Jonas Brothers.

  9. I would not be cool with the fact that he decided 10 minutes before you were supposed to meet for dinner that he decided it would be better to wait till later. Go with your gut. Do you think you should call him or wait for him to call you?

  10. I would not be cool with the fact that he decided 10 minutes before you were supposed to meet for dinner that he decided it would be better to wait till later. Go with your gut. Do you think you should call him or wait for him to call you?

  11. I’m in total agreement with the others. He seems very self-centered, only caring about what works best for him.

    If someone changed the meeting time 10 minutes before we should have arrived, I don’t think I would have waited unless they had a REALLY good excuse.

    You deserve much better than this.

  12. I’m in total agreement with the others. He seems very self-centered, only caring about what works best for him.

    If someone changed the meeting time 10 minutes before we should have arrived, I don’t think I would have waited unless they had a REALLY good excuse.

    You deserve much better than this.

  13. I don’t really like the sound of the word “sure” and I say definately wait until he calls. If he doesn’t, eh, you’re better off!

  14. I don’t really like the sound of the word “sure” and I say definately wait until he calls. If he doesn’t, eh, you’re better off!

  15. hmmmm. i think you should play it cool with this guy. if he was really into it, he would have met you at six to spend the extra time with you, he wouldn’t have said “sure” (i agree, that’s kind of a sketch word to use) and you would have heard from him by now.

    i say if he calls you, and you want to hang out again, then cool, but i wouldn’t hold out for this guy, he doesn’t sound worth your trouble :o)

    hold out for better!

  16. hmmmm. i think you should play it cool with this guy. if he was really into it, he would have met you at six to spend the extra time with you, he wouldn’t have said “sure” (i agree, that’s kind of a sketch word to use) and you would have heard from him by now.

    i say if he calls you, and you want to hang out again, then cool, but i wouldn’t hold out for this guy, he doesn’t sound worth your trouble :o)

    hold out for better!

  17. I wouldn’t worry about what he did after – I would just think about the vibe you got from him, and it doesn’t sound like it was totally positive. Why don’t you leave it for a week and get back in touch after you’ve had some time to think?

    Maybe go for a dinner to see Coraline next week and then call it one way or the other, or take a break from the dates and look into seeing some other guys?

    It sounds like he’s decent, but not like he’s making a huge effort to impress you or even just to get along well. You deserve someone who will pull out all the stops, or just be easier to get along with.

  18. I wouldn’t worry about what he did after – I would just think about the vibe you got from him, and it doesn’t sound like it was totally positive. Why don’t you leave it for a week and get back in touch after you’ve had some time to think?

    Maybe go for a dinner to see Coraline next week and then call it one way or the other, or take a break from the dates and look into seeing some other guys?

    It sounds like he’s decent, but not like he’s making a huge effort to impress you or even just to get along well. You deserve someone who will pull out all the stops, or just be easier to get along with.

  19. Last minute time changes are a huge pet peeve of mine. He should have known you most likely had left already. Not cool. This guy doesn’t sound good enough to keep seeing.

  20. Last minute time changes are a huge pet peeve of mine. He should have known you most likely had left already. Not cool. This guy doesn’t sound good enough to keep seeing.

  21. The Passionate Book Worm

    I seriously have an issue with a guy who can’t stick to a plan or at the least have the decency to change the plan in a timely manner. I don’t know. I’m not liking this guy yet. I wouldn’t try to initiate anything but if he called I might give him another chance.

  22. The Passionate Book Worm

    I seriously have an issue with a guy who can’t stick to a plan or at the least have the decency to change the plan in a timely manner. I don’t know. I’m not liking this guy yet. I wouldn’t try to initiate anything but if he called I might give him another chance.

  23. I think you’ve learnt a very important lesson here. NEVER be on time for a date with a guy. Always show up ten to fifteen minutes late. Don’t go out of YOUR way to date him. YOU had an excuse for being late (your paper), him changing plans last minute (even if he was on the crapper) is standard guy crap. I wouldn’t worry about it too much.

    The after the date thing sounds like trouble though. I’m not sure why you decided to end the night early with him, leaving him there, but he most likely chatted someone else up. Be aware of this. You left him there, he went back in, most likely talking to someone else.

    Don’t call him. If he calls you play it off like you aren’t OVERLY interested in him, DON’T act like a girlfriend, DON’T ASK HIM WHAT HE DID THAT NIGHT, if you show you don’t care, he’ll want you to care more. Trust in this.

    Good luck!

    http://fab.typepad.com

  24. I think you’ve learnt a very important lesson here. NEVER be on time for a date with a guy. Always show up ten to fifteen minutes late. Don’t go out of YOUR way to date him. YOU had an excuse for being late (your paper), him changing plans last minute (even if he was on the crapper) is standard guy crap. I wouldn’t worry about it too much.

    The after the date thing sounds like trouble though. I’m not sure why you decided to end the night early with him, leaving him there, but he most likely chatted someone else up. Be aware of this. You left him there, he went back in, most likely talking to someone else.

    Don’t call him. If he calls you play it off like you aren’t OVERLY interested in him, DON’T act like a girlfriend, DON’T ASK HIM WHAT HE DID THAT NIGHT, if you show you don’t care, he’ll want you to care more. Trust in this.

    Good luck!

    http://fab.typepad.com

  25. I second everything Fab said.

    Time can only be changed at least an hour or two before..and wait until he calls 🙂

  26. I second everything Fab said.

    Time can only be changed at least an hour or two before..and wait until he calls 🙂

  27. I would be mildly annoyed about the time change but I think it’s odd that he walked back in the bar after he said he was going home. Sketchy, I’d play it by ear!

  28. I would be mildly annoyed about the time change but I think it’s odd that he walked back in the bar after he said he was going home. Sketchy, I’d play it by ear!

  29. I hope he walked back into the bar because he had to take a shit. Not a normal one either – one of mass proportions that punished him for being a flake.

    Wait for him to call you.

    Doesn’t seem like there’s anything worth anticipating.

  30. I hope he walked back into the bar because he had to take a shit. Not a normal one either – one of mass proportions that punished him for being a flake.

    Wait for him to call you.

    Doesn’t seem like there’s anything worth anticipating.

  31. I feel like you’ve had more negative interactions with this guy than positive. The time change ten minutes before meeting is annoying at best. I agree with the others to wait for him to call and if he doesn’t, that’s his loss.

    On a totally different subject, I am so excited to see Coraline in 3D 🙂

  32. I feel like you’ve had more negative interactions with this guy than positive. The time change ten minutes before meeting is annoying at best. I agree with the others to wait for him to call and if he doesn’t, that’s his loss.

    On a totally different subject, I am so excited to see Coraline in 3D 🙂

  33. I think if you have this many concerns over this guy than he is definitely not worth another call from you. If he gets in contact with you, however, and you do feel like you want to see him I think he needs to really prove himself this next go round. That means letting you know when the date is in advance and that he’s there on time. If for any reason he does not fulfill his duties on the date than don’t wait around for him and definitely write him off. It’s a shame cause he seemed cool i nthe beginning and now its a different story. Good luck.

  34. I think if you have this many concerns over this guy than he is definitely not worth another call from you. If he gets in contact with you, however, and you do feel like you want to see him I think he needs to really prove himself this next go round. That means letting you know when the date is in advance and that he’s there on time. If for any reason he does not fulfill his duties on the date than don’t wait around for him and definitely write him off. It’s a shame cause he seemed cool i nthe beginning and now its a different story. Good luck.

  35. In the words of the horrible MTV show: NEXT!!!

    😉 You deserve better!

  36. Wickedly Scarlett

    Hrm… I’m not sure about this guy. Honestly, it’s hard to judge without being in your situation and feeling what you’re feeling, but I’m not sure he’s as wonderful as he seemed in the first place. I’m sorry sweetie… I hope it works out for you!! Oh, and you really should try for Coraline again, because it is fabulous!

  37. In the words of the horrible MTV show: NEXT!!!

    😉 You deserve better!

  38. Wickedly Scarlett

    Hrm… I’m not sure about this guy. Honestly, it’s hard to judge without being in your situation and feeling what you’re feeling, but I’m not sure he’s as wonderful as he seemed in the first place. I’m sorry sweetie… I hope it works out for you!! Oh, and you really should try for Coraline again, because it is fabulous!

  39. Yeah he was defiantly rude, so I say that if he calls you again give it one more try but don’t waste to much energy on him.

    Trust your gut instinct if you guys go out again and the same thing happens.

  40. Yeah he was defiantly rude, so I say that if he calls you again give it one more try but don’t waste to much energy on him.

    Trust your gut instinct if you guys go out again and the same thing happens.

  41. i’d wait for a call. if he doesn’t call, i wouldn’t call him back to figure out what he was up to.

  42. i’d wait for a call. if he doesn’t call, i wouldn’t call him back to figure out what he was up to.

  43. Toss him.
    He’s just not that into you and you’re obviously just not into him. What right minded guy goes back into the bar? No, no, toss him!

  44. Toss him.
    He’s just not that into you and you’re obviously just not into him. What right minded guy goes back into the bar? No, no, toss him!

  45. I wonder what is going on with him or like what he thinks about you?

  46. I wonder what is going on with him or like what he thinks about you?

  47. Ha, Melly and KC’s comments made me laugh. I’m not a fan of his questionable behavior. Like the others said, wait for him to call, but don’t sit around waiting (not to say that you would!). You deserve way better then that crap!

  48. Ha, Melly and KC’s comments made me laugh. I’m not a fan of his questionable behavior. Like the others said, wait for him to call, but don’t sit around waiting (not to say that you would!). You deserve way better then that crap!

  49. Gwen B. (aka skinny bitch)

    wait for him to call you back and if he does, or you go out again then ask him what he did the other night after you left. (you could use the excuse that you wanted to see if he was felling better or something)

    I would be pissed if he changed the time on such short notice too! He seems to be a little absent minded… like he forgets that you have things to do other than play around with him all the time when every he wants.

  50. Gwen B. (aka skinny bitch)

    wait for him to call you back and if he does, or you go out again then ask him what he did the other night after you left. (you could use the excuse that you wanted to see if he was felling better or something)

    I would be pissed if he changed the time on such short notice too! He seems to be a little absent minded… like he forgets that you have things to do other than play around with him all the time when every he wants.

  51. well at least you had a good time right? i don’t really know what to think of him though, hmmm.

  52. well at least you had a good time right? i don’t really know what to think of him though, hmmm.

  53. Classy in Philadelphia

    Hehe, you already know my opinion on this one. I do not like this guy. He has made many silly and easily avoidable mistakes with you before. The whole subway thing on this date would have pissed me off to no end. I think you should just ignore this loser.

  54. Classy in Philadelphia

    Hehe, you already know my opinion on this one. I do not like this guy. He has made many silly and easily avoidable mistakes with you before. The whole subway thing on this date would have pissed me off to no end. I think you should just ignore this loser.

  55. maybe he doesn’t date a lot?

  56. maybe he doesn’t date a lot?

  57. Ugh! Waiting is the worst…but I would probably wait for him to call. You let him know you had a good time on V-day, so he knows where you stand in the dating relationship.

  58. Ugh! Waiting is the worst…but I would probably wait for him to call. You let him know you had a good time on V-day, so he knows where you stand in the dating relationship.

  59. I know I’m late on this… and while I’m not making excuses for him occasionally texts I send to my friends and boyfriend get seriously delayed, by like 30 minutes for some reason. Incoming and outgoing. If you want to make a case in his favor, count this in.

    If you don’t, then yes, feel free to be annoyed by the time change but also realize that perhaps your annoyance with the time change is mostly due to the fact that you aren’t all that interested in him. If you really liked a guy would you be annoyed that he changed times?

    If he decided to go back into the bar, maybe he had to settle a tab? (Again, if you want to make a case for him, use that idea. If not, disregard).

    Don’t call him. Wait for him to call you. Some guys wait three days.

    But go with your gut. If you aren’t crazy about him, don’t bother. There are other fish out there!

    When you do see Coraline, enjoy! It’s a fun movie!

  60. I know I’m late on this… and while I’m not making excuses for him occasionally texts I send to my friends and boyfriend get seriously delayed, by like 30 minutes for some reason. Incoming and outgoing. If you want to make a case in his favor, count this in.

    If you don’t, then yes, feel free to be annoyed by the time change but also realize that perhaps your annoyance with the time change is mostly due to the fact that you aren’t all that interested in him. If you really liked a guy would you be annoyed that he changed times?

    If he decided to go back into the bar, maybe he had to settle a tab? (Again, if you want to make a case for him, use that idea. If not, disregard).

    Don’t call him. Wait for him to call you. Some guys wait three days.

    But go with your gut. If you aren’t crazy about him, don’t bother. There are other fish out there!

    When you do see Coraline, enjoy! It’s a fun movie!

  61. I’d forget about him, unless he contacts you and makes a better effort for next time.

  62. I’d forget about him, unless he contacts you and makes a better effort for next time.

  63. I’m not sold on this guy, and it doesn’t sound like you are, either. I’d let it play itself out naturally. If he calls and you feel up to giving him another chance, do. But I’d call this a strike. Bench him when you see fit.

  64. I’m not sold on this guy, and it doesn’t sound like you are, either. I’d let it play itself out naturally. If he calls and you feel up to giving him another chance, do. But I’d call this a strike. Bench him when you see fit.

  65. wait for him to call… I think the time change thing is something that you can forgive once, but if he doesn’t reach out I wouldn’t bother.

  66. wait for him to call… I think the time change thing is something that you can forgive once, but if he doesn’t reach out I wouldn’t bother.

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