Before I start talking about what’s on my mind today I wanted to say how how much I appreciated all of your comments on my last post. You were all extremely supportive and encouraging and I couldn’t have asked for more. Your thoughts were just what I needed to hear, so thank you all so much!
I’ve been thinking more and more about how much my life is going to change after graduation.
I get very exciting when thinking about change. I felt this way right before I graduated high school, before I graduated college, and before I moved to New York. The anticipation and the huge opportunities that I can see before me make me feel like I can do anything. I can feel myself dreaming of how things will be when I get to that point (in this situation, when I move back to Austin) and thinking of how wonderful and perfect everything will be.
But then I think back to when I graduated from college. I knew I would be moving to France for a year. A year by myself in a foreign country. I thought the possibilities were endless- and really, they were. I could do whatever I wanted. But when I got there, it wasn’t as great as I imagined. I still let my insecurities and fears hold me back. I didn’t embrace each situation and I didn’t always make the most of my time. I spent that year day dreaming about living in New York.
And now that I’m in New York I see myself doing the same thing. I’m thinking of the future. I’m not cherishing my time here. Yes, there are moments when I’m completely and perfectly happy. I’ve experienced things in this city that I wouldn’t have done otherwise and I’ve grown tremendously. But still, I find myself thinking about much better things will be when I can move away from here and start over somewhere else.
I know this is common. I know a lot of people do the same thing. I just don’t want to waste the time I have now because I know I’m going to miss it when it’s gone.
How have you learned to cherish your time? How do you make the most of it without getting lost in thoughts about the future?