A fake friend

By now you’ve probably heard about the plagiarism controversy surrounding a fellow blogger.

You can visit these blogs to read all the details:
cjane enjoy it
Velveteen Mind
The Jet Set
Onnuh
Lots of Scotts

I’ve been thinking about what I should say in this situation or if I should say anything at all. I don’t want to point fingers or make people upset, but this is my blog so I have the right to share how I feel.

I feel like I was betrayed. I feel angry and hurt. I am scared to trust other bloggers now. I feel taken advantage of. I’m really pissed off. I feel like I was led to believe lies. I feel really naive and I’m angry I let myself trust someone so easily. I’m angry that this person allowed bloggers to email her and gchat for hours sharing personal, private information about their lives. It baffles me how she could hurt so many people and not even care!

This blogger and I had met twice. We had dinner together on two separate occasions. We were becoming “IRL” friends. When we had dinner we talked about blogging; we talked about bloggers. She confided in me what she thought about other bloggers and their writing. She was judgmental (not to say that I’m perfect, but at least my blog is real and honest), but she also seemed really genuine and sweet. She seemed just as nice as I would have expected from her blog. We talked about how we love blogging because we can be so honest (hahaha, I’d love to know what she was thinking during that conversation!) and form friendships with people we would otherwise never meet.

We talked about her past trips to Africa, which may be true, but the post she wrote about it was not her own. We talked about her weekend trip to the coffee shop where she met an old teacher who is the grandmother of one of her clients. Apparently that post was stolen as well. This girl let me hold converstations with her regarding topics I believed to be her life, but were actually ideas she had stolen from other bloggers.

I asked her about the life she wrote about because I believed it to be hers. I told her how I was jealous of her life and how perfect it seemed. I told her that her new pink bicycle was so cute and I wish I had one. I told her I wish I owned a house with two dogs and a sweet boyfriend. I’m no longer jealous; I’m angry.

Over dinner last Wednesday she made the comment that her boyfriend asks her why she doesn’t blog every day. She told him it is because she doesn’t think people want to read about mundane life details. She said she doesn’t have time to blog every day. She said she sits down at the computer and types whatever comes to mind. I think what she meant to say is that she doesn’t have time to read enough blogs to steal their writing and show it off as her own.

Now I wonder how much of what she wrote was true. Does she really own a house? Does she really work where she said she works? Does she really have a boyfriend? And were all those posts about skydiving and trips to San Francisco plagiarized too? Those time she wrote about running and exercising at the gym? Well, she admitted to me over dinner that she hasn’t exercised in months and that her gym even called to remind her she had a membership because she hadn’t been in so long. So that post was definitely fake.

We first started talking because she posted where she went to school and it also happened to be my school. I emailed her saying we should meet for coffee after class one day. After I found out she was plagiarizing other people’s blogs, I began questioning everything she told me. I looked her name up in the school directory online. There were zero matches. So I started thinking… after we met for dinner she said she was going to the parking garage, but then she walked a few blocks with me before she turned down another street… away from the parking garage. Maybe she doesn’t go to my school. Maybe she doesn’t have a car and maybe she doesn’t live where she said she lives.

When we first met for dinner I talked to her about how she was confronted on her blog about her “perfect” life. I told her I understood where she was coming from and that it was completely understandable to only want to write about “the good things” in life. Little did I know I was helping to boost her plagiarizing ego.

I sent her an email saying I was praying for her boyfriend after his “accident” and she replied saying he was recovering well from his skin graft surgery. Lie. There was no accident. I do not understand how someone could tell a lie so outrageous and continue with it knowing that others are so concerned and worried for their well-being. I thought I was forming a friendship with someone and now it has smacked me in the face. I don’t know what to believe anymore.

It’s wrong to steal someone’s writing and claim it as your own. It’s even worse when you have been confronted about this and apologize saying you won’t do it again. And even worse? When you are questioned about your blog and how your life seems “too good to be true” and you defend it by saying it’s your life and it’s real. She should have learned from experience that you will get caught if you plagiarize and it will not be pretty.

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110 responses to “A fake friend

  1. I can’t imagine how hurt this has made you, because you did seem to know her more than most. But all of that was lies.

    The only thing you can do is leanr from this and move on.

  2. I can’t imagine how hurt this has made you, because you did seem to know her more than most. But all of that was lies.

    The only thing you can do is leanr from this and move on.

  3. nicoleantoinette

    This past weekend I was talking to my grandpa about life on the internet and he was warning me about how there are a lot of crazies and that I should always be careful. Which got me to thinking about how the internet is simultaneously a lot more and a lot less scary than it used to be, because who knows what’s really going on in people’s heads? Especially people like this.

    Because honestly, I don’t fear that she’s at all dangerous, just really, really insecure. I know you’re upset (and for very good reason), but just try to be grateful that you have a life that’s good enough that you don’t have to create a fake one on the internet to make yourself feel better.

    This is definitely a lesson in awareness though, and I’m really glad you shared it!

  4. nicoleantoinette

    This past weekend I was talking to my grandpa about life on the internet and he was warning me about how there are a lot of crazies and that I should always be careful. Which got me to thinking about how the internet is simultaneously a lot more and a lot less scary than it used to be, because who knows what’s really going on in people’s heads? Especially people like this.

    Because honestly, I don’t fear that she’s at all dangerous, just really, really insecure. I know you’re upset (and for very good reason), but just try to be grateful that you have a life that’s good enough that you don’t have to create a fake one on the internet to make yourself feel better.

    This is definitely a lesson in awareness though, and I’m really glad you shared it!

  5. Wearing Mascara

    I really don’t know what to say. Like you, I am hurt and deceived but from your eyes I can’t imagine what it must actually feel like. The link you have at the end links to one of the posts I read when I first found her blog. I was impressed by her writing and life… now it’s fake.

    I hope you’re doing okay.

  6. This is a very eloquent response to a gross situation, one that could only come from someone as honest and sweet as you Ashley.

    I feel totally duped by her – but that’s the end result of a situation like this until people start speaking up. I’m glad that I’ve been able to find the bloggers who I really liked when I felt like it was her I was reading.

    It’s hard to understand the kind of personality that would drive someone to not just impersonate someone online but in real life. And I guess the “Everything Is RELENTLESSLY Perfect” tone of her writing makes more sense now – because obviously blogging was far more of an escape for her than for any of the rest of us. Who knows what was so wrong in her life that she took on a fake persona.

    I hope you’re doing alright, trying to be a good friend is always a good thing – even if the people you’re reaching out to aren’t who they say they are.

  7. Wearing Mascara

    I really don’t know what to say. Like you, I am hurt and deceived but from your eyes I can’t imagine what it must actually feel like. The link you have at the end links to one of the posts I read when I first found her blog. I was impressed by her writing and life… now it’s fake.

    I hope you’re doing okay.

  8. This is a very eloquent response to a gross situation, one that could only come from someone as honest and sweet as you Ashley.

    I feel totally duped by her – but that’s the end result of a situation like this until people start speaking up. I’m glad that I’ve been able to find the bloggers who I really liked when I felt like it was her I was reading.

    It’s hard to understand the kind of personality that would drive someone to not just impersonate someone online but in real life. And I guess the “Everything Is RELENTLESSLY Perfect” tone of her writing makes more sense now – because obviously blogging was far more of an escape for her than for any of the rest of us. Who knows what was so wrong in her life that she took on a fake persona.

    I hope you’re doing alright, trying to be a good friend is always a good thing – even if the people you’re reaching out to aren’t who they say they are.

  9. I just think it’s sad that people can’t trust their own words and instead have to steal the words of others. I’m especially shocked that she went as far as to deceive you and try to form a friendship with you. How crazy! I hope one day people will learn that you can’t steal from others in this blogging community and expect to get away with it. I think this one hits home more for me since it’s the first plagarized content filled blog I’ve been a reader of.

  10. I just think it’s sad that people can’t trust their own words and instead have to steal the words of others. I’m especially shocked that she went as far as to deceive you and try to form a friendship with you. How crazy! I hope one day people will learn that you can’t steal from others in this blogging community and expect to get away with it. I think this one hits home more for me since it’s the first plagarized content filled blog I’ve been a reader of.

  11. My goodness, that’s downright scary! It blows my mind that someone could do that online and continue to pull it off IRL!

  12. My goodness, that’s downright scary! It blows my mind that someone could do that online and continue to pull it off IRL!

  13. ChasingParadise

    Wow. I had no idea. I wasn’t a reader of her blog, but I’d frequently seen her comments on other peoples blogs and had seen her name on several blogrolls. Now I’m really glad I never wasted my time clicking over to her worthless space. What a sad, sad person she must be.

  14. That sucks! I’m sorry but that’s just a really strange thing to do (her not you!)!!! I’m pretty much dumbfounded other than that!

    -E

  15. ChasingParadise

    Wow. I had no idea. I wasn’t a reader of her blog, but I’d frequently seen her comments on other peoples blogs and had seen her name on several blogrolls. Now I’m really glad I never wasted my time clicking over to her worthless space. What a sad, sad person she must be.

  16. That sucks! I’m sorry but that’s just a really strange thing to do (her not you!)!!! I’m pretty much dumbfounded other than that!

    -E

  17. Wow I can’t believe that she did that!! I just don’t understand how or why a person would do something like that. Or they really that sad or crazy? Or do they just have nothing better to do with their time? I too read her blog, but I can only imagine how you feel right now.

    Hang in there and don’t put off one crazy person from connecting with other bloggers in real life!

  18. Wow I can’t believe that she did that!! I just don’t understand how or why a person would do something like that. Or they really that sad or crazy? Or do they just have nothing better to do with their time? I too read her blog, but I can only imagine how you feel right now.

    Hang in there and don’t put off one crazy person from connecting with other bloggers in real life!

  19. it’s sad. It’s sad that she’s so…insecure that she had to plagiarize the words of others and claim them as her own. But it’s even sadder that plagiarism aside she couldn’t even be honest with you.

    I read her blog on occasion and she did seem sweet, but it is frustrating to now question how many other bloggers that we all read and adore do this? It’s an issue of trust and it’s sad that one person can deceive the trust of so many people. 😦

  20. it’s sad. It’s sad that she’s so…insecure that she had to plagiarize the words of others and claim them as her own. But it’s even sadder that plagiarism aside she couldn’t even be honest with you.

    I read her blog on occasion and she did seem sweet, but it is frustrating to now question how many other bloggers that we all read and adore do this? It’s an issue of trust and it’s sad that one person can deceive the trust of so many people. 😦

  21. You have at least calmed my fears that “she” was a “he” or some other bizarre situation. I hope you two never cross paths again. Though I have seen this coming (call me a skeptic) it doesn’t make it any less disturbing.

  22. You have at least calmed my fears that “she” was a “he” or some other bizarre situation. I hope you two never cross paths again. Though I have seen this coming (call me a skeptic) it doesn’t make it any less disturbing.

  23. I’m so sorry Ashley! What a scumbag! I remember reading her posts a couple of times–pink, cup cakes, little sisters, perfect boyfriend, sewing stories. So, essentially she went through All that trouble to fake a life she never had! Phooey

  24. I agree with Kyla, you handled this very eloquently. It’s hard to believe that she would go as far as not only lieing on her blog but carrying on that persona in real life.

    I often wondered about her blog. It seemed TOO perfect, yet even though something in the back of my mind was telling me it was TOO perfect I also felt jealous of this perfect life.

    Never in my wildest dreams did I think it was all lies.

    It’s definitely a good lesson. With the internet people can become pretty much whoever they want to become.

  25. I’m so sorry Ashley! What a scumbag! I remember reading her posts a couple of times–pink, cup cakes, little sisters, perfect boyfriend, sewing stories. So, essentially she went through All that trouble to fake a life she never had! Phooey

  26. I agree with Kyla, you handled this very eloquently. It’s hard to believe that she would go as far as not only lieing on her blog but carrying on that persona in real life.

    I often wondered about her blog. It seemed TOO perfect, yet even though something in the back of my mind was telling me it was TOO perfect I also felt jealous of this perfect life.

    Never in my wildest dreams did I think it was all lies.

    It’s definitely a good lesson. With the internet people can become pretty much whoever they want to become.

  27. i know how you feel. as a reader of her blog from the very beginning i feel completely betrayed and pissed off. i talked to that girl countless times through email, blog comments, twitter, 20sb…everything. i confided in her. told her things about my personal life…my family…my finances. and while parts of her blog seemed too good to be true, she still seemed so sweet and genuine that i let it slide. i really thought she was for real and then all this?? i’m seriously floored.

    i feel so gullible.

  28. i know how you feel. as a reader of her blog from the very beginning i feel completely betrayed and pissed off. i talked to that girl countless times through email, blog comments, twitter, 20sb…everything. i confided in her. told her things about my personal life…my family…my finances. and while parts of her blog seemed too good to be true, she still seemed so sweet and genuine that i let it slide. i really thought she was for real and then all this?? i’m seriously floored.

    i feel so gullible.

  29. I’ve only been blogging over here for a few months and was totally oblivious to the fact that people could plagerise this kind of thing. School work, I get that, anything really, but peoples personal experiences….seriously? I cannot imagine why someone would do this other than their life being so empty and lonely. But in no way does that make up for it!!

    I hope you don’t feel too differently towards other bloggers from this, most are normal people who wouldn’t lie about the simple stuff in life. Betrayal is a horrible thing but the feeling will subside and you’ll still be you and won’t have to make things up to pretend you’re happy! X

  30. I think you wrote this very well and I can imagine how hurt you are right now, because I certainly would be too. I didn’t often read her blog and don’t recognize any of the ones you’ve linked above, but regardless, I can’t imagine being in such a situation where I thought I should take what others say and pretend that it comes from me. You can never tell what a person is thinking and I hope people stop stooping to such lows that they think something like this is okay to do!

  31. I’ve only been blogging over here for a few months and was totally oblivious to the fact that people could plagerise this kind of thing. School work, I get that, anything really, but peoples personal experiences….seriously? I cannot imagine why someone would do this other than their life being so empty and lonely. But in no way does that make up for it!!

    I hope you don’t feel too differently towards other bloggers from this, most are normal people who wouldn’t lie about the simple stuff in life. Betrayal is a horrible thing but the feeling will subside and you’ll still be you and won’t have to make things up to pretend you’re happy! X

  32. I think you wrote this very well and I can imagine how hurt you are right now, because I certainly would be too. I didn’t often read her blog and don’t recognize any of the ones you’ve linked above, but regardless, I can’t imagine being in such a situation where I thought I should take what others say and pretend that it comes from me. You can never tell what a person is thinking and I hope people stop stooping to such lows that they think something like this is okay to do!

  33. I am still dumbfounded. I have had many reactions to this situation: how can I protect my blog? Should I stop writing? How do I know the other people I read are who they say they are?

    I am sorry you met her and that all of this happened. It’s so hard for those of us who are real, honest people to deal with crap like this. It’s never easy.

    I’m glad you are safe and hopefully she doesn’t try to contact you in the future.

    Looking back perhaps we all kind of knew but wanted the perfect life to exist for someone?

  34. I am still dumbfounded. I have had many reactions to this situation: how can I protect my blog? Should I stop writing? How do I know the other people I read are who they say they are?

    I am sorry you met her and that all of this happened. It’s so hard for those of us who are real, honest people to deal with crap like this. It’s never easy.

    I’m glad you are safe and hopefully she doesn’t try to contact you in the future.

    Looking back perhaps we all kind of knew but wanted the perfect life to exist for someone?

  35. Wow, this is unbelievable. Just pure craziness! I’m so sorry that you were hurt. I can’t even imagine someone doing all of this!

  36. Wow, this is unbelievable. Just pure craziness! I’m so sorry that you were hurt. I can’t even imagine someone doing all of this!

  37. This is entirely too scary. I mean, who can we trust now? It’s going to be hard for me to even trust new bloggers now. Or even old ones, I guess.

    Supposedly her post about plagiarism was also plagiarized. I can’t remember where I saw that, but I think it was in the comments on The Jet Set or cjane’s blog.

  38. This is entirely too scary. I mean, who can we trust now? It’s going to be hard for me to even trust new bloggers now. Or even old ones, I guess.

    Supposedly her post about plagiarism was also plagiarized. I can’t remember where I saw that, but I think it was in the comments on The Jet Set or cjane’s blog.

  39. Wow that is bizarre. I had not heard of this at all. I can’t believe someone would do that, but I don’t think like a criminal/untrustworthy person. I guess it goes to show that youy have to be careful of everyone, which is a shame.

  40. Wow that is bizarre. I had not heard of this at all. I can’t believe someone would do that, but I don’t think like a criminal/untrustworthy person. I guess it goes to show that youy have to be careful of everyone, which is a shame.

  41. Wow.
    Well, it doesn’t look like the blog link to Miss Musing is even working anymore…so maybe all of this drama is behind you now…
    Still though, I can sympathize with your anger!

    B

  42. Wow.
    Well, it doesn’t look like the blog link to Miss Musing is even working anymore…so maybe all of this drama is behind you now…
    Still though, I can sympathize with your anger!

    B

  43. The Maiden Metallurgist

    I used to read her blog every day too. I hate to tell you that her blog about being plagarized was also a plagarization of someone else’s work. So F that. I think it is particularly odd that she broadened this whole world of lies to IRL friendships. Of course you are hurt and feleing betrayed.

    I’m sorry you feel this way, and I hope you remain mindful that she is the exception here in blogland, and not the rule. Mst of us are for real. Maybe a little boring, but really, truly, genuinely boring.

  44. The Maiden Metallurgist

    I used to read her blog every day too. I hate to tell you that her blog about being plagarized was also a plagarization of someone else’s work. So F that. I think it is particularly odd that she broadened this whole world of lies to IRL friendships. Of course you are hurt and feleing betrayed.

    I’m sorry you feel this way, and I hope you remain mindful that she is the exception here in blogland, and not the rule. Mst of us are for real. Maybe a little boring, but really, truly, genuinely boring.

  45. This is so weird and creepy. I’d be angry too, but I also kind of feel sorry for her because how messed up do you have to be to do something like this?

  46. This is so weird and creepy. I’d be angry too, but I also kind of feel sorry for her because how messed up do you have to be to do something like this?

  47. This is so disappointing. I also read every day and felt duped when I found out the truth… I can’t imagine what you’ve gone through.

    You are a sweet girl, Ashley, and I agree… you’ve handled this beautifully.

  48. This is so disappointing. I also read every day and felt duped when I found out the truth… I can’t imagine what you’ve gone through.

    You are a sweet girl, Ashley, and I agree… you’ve handled this beautifully.

  49. Wow.. I’m just.. speechless. How can she live with herself after having betrayed so many people? It’s sad, really, that she has to plagiarize to make herself feel important… And to continue with the lies in real life, this girl has issues!

  50. thatShortChick

    I agree with Amber. After I entered her Amazon giftcard giveaway (BTW was that even real??), I would occasionally read some of her entries, and I just had a feeling that something was not right. Especially the pictures she used. Things were literally too perfect for comfort.

    I’m curious as to how was her body language or mannerisms when you did meet with her IRL?

    I’m not even going to sit here and pretend like I know how you must feel because I don’t but I am just so sorry that you have unwittingly befriended and trusted this person.

    But I have to admit that I do feel a little sorry for her because things in her life (or something) must be unbearable to deal with everyday.

  51. Wow.. I’m just.. speechless. How can she live with herself after having betrayed so many people? It’s sad, really, that she has to plagiarize to make herself feel important… And to continue with the lies in real life, this girl has issues!

  52. thatShortChick

    I agree with Amber. After I entered her Amazon giftcard giveaway (BTW was that even real??), I would occasionally read some of her entries, and I just had a feeling that something was not right. Especially the pictures she used. Things were literally too perfect for comfort.

    I’m curious as to how was her body language or mannerisms when you did meet with her IRL?

    I’m not even going to sit here and pretend like I know how you must feel because I don’t but I am just so sorry that you have unwittingly befriended and trusted this person.

    But I have to admit that I do feel a little sorry for her because things in her life (or something) must be unbearable to deal with everyday.

  53. You are a wonderfully sweet friend, Ashley and I’m so sorry this has hurt you so badly. I was also a regular reader and admired “her” writing and perspective. I even went so far as to pass along an award meant for the most genuine of bloggers. I feel incredibly duped as well, though her and I never had the personal connection you did.

    :::Big, big hugs!:::

    And as has been pointed out, it’s very sad that she felt the need at all to fake a life that she was living online and in real life, not even making it up herself, but stealing from the lives of others.

    Hang in there, sweetie. This is kind of a first for a lot of us, huh?

  54. Little Miss Obsessive

    Oh wow, I can’t believe this! She was one of my favorite bloggers and this news has made me very sad.

    I can’t imagine how hard it is for you, being that you had met her IRL and thought she was a friend… very sad.

    I feel like it takes a VERY unhappy person to create a blog of plagerized stories. I always thought she seemed sweet and genuine… I’m in shock. I feel sorry for all those who were betrayed by her and also sorry that she is so unhappy in her own life that she had to create a fake one filled with stolen stories. 😦

  55. notthelifeiordered

    I am utterly shocked at everything that has gone on. Especially after she has befriended you and then lied to your face. That’s what shocks me the most, outside of the blatant plagiarism she told you false stories, went to dinner and further lied and just…ugh. I cannot express myself as eloquently as you but I’m sorry you have been deceived like this. I’m also feeling very duped and betrayed and VERY angry because this has happened to me and ugh.

    I just don’t understand some people’s needs to steal other’s identities. I just don’t.

  56. literally before i opened my reader to find everyone in the blogosphere commenting about it. i thinking the other day, how i wonder if there are people out there who just make this shit up.

    now its one thing to make it up and keep it online. its another thing to meet someone face to face, after making it up via the posts of someone else. i can’t even wrap my mind around how crazy and insecure someone must be to do that.

    im sorry that it is making you lose trust in the rest of the blogosphere, but frankly, i don’t blame you because i would too.

    i didn’t read miss musings blog, id seen it on many a blogroll. i tend to stay away from the ones i have little in common with. fabulously perfect lives are far from reality. especially my own. we all have our own little struggles, chips and quirks. living and blogging without them is simply put TOO good to be true.

  57. I didn’t actually read her blog – but I am really just sad by the whole thing.

    It’s just so ODD, you know??

  58. Holy fuckup batman that’s just creepy!

    What on earth possesses someone to steal from other bloggers and then keep that lie up IRL?

    You’ve handled it really well, as have the other ladies who you linked to above. Let’s hope this crazy lady doesn’t pop up again and can get back to blogging without fear of thievery

  59. I can’t believe how incredibly selfish and insecure and deceitful someone could be to do this. I totally understand why it would make you wary of other bloggers from now on and that stinks. It just takes one wrong person to ruin that image, and it really has ruined mine. I was envious of her seemingly perfect life too and I just started reading her blog. The fact that someone could do this and for so long makes me worry about my own content. I know the internet is expansive and anonymous if we want it to be, but I’m so disappointed that someone who professes to be honest is such a gigantic liar.

  60. don’t give up on people, ash. even strangers. these weirdos are the outliers…not the norm. bust through the experience and learn from it and focus on the people who prove to be genuine.

    fuck miss musing.

  61. alexa - cleveland's a plum

    i’m still pretty floored by the whole thing too, but i agree with dshan, don’t give up on people.

    for every looney lying miss musing there are 1,000 normal and honest people.

    i feel worst for you though because you started to become friends in real life. where for me she was just lying on the internet it was too personal yet, for you on the other hand it was way more personal and for that i’m sorry you had to deal with it.

    well written post my dear.

  62. Michelle and the City

    this whole situation is insane to me. why would anyone WANT to have a fake blog? what fun is it posting about other people’s lives? isn’t blogging supposed to be a place to vent, a place to share YOUR OWN experiences?

    and for her to be able to pull off all the details IRL is sadly pretty impressive. that’s a lot to remember!

    ugh, i am so sorry you were duped by her. i think we’ll all be a little more cautious after this story came out.

  63. alexa - cleveland's a plum

    i’m still pretty floored by the whole thing too, but i agree with dshan, don’t give up on people.

    for every looney lying miss musing there are 1,000 normal and honest people.

    i feel worst for you though because you started to become friends in real life. where for me she was just lying on the internet it was too personal yet, for you on the other hand it was way more personal and for that i’m sorry you had to deal with it.

    well written post my dear.

  64. Ugh, I’m really sorry Ashley. I had my doubts about Miss Musing, because soon after I started reading her, it seemed like her writing style changed dramatically (to the one used by cjane), and then there was her perfect life and live tweeting of that accident. I assumed at worst that she was just making things up–I had no idea that she was plagiarizing and I never would have guessed it.

    Maybe I’m being naive, but I think that bloggers like MM are far and few between, so I hope this doesn’t turn you off or make you think you can trust other bloggers. But, I guess this opens all of our eyes a bit and probably for the best.

  65. I’m still new to the whole twentysomething community (even though I’ve been blogging nearly 4 years). So I haven’t heard of this girl, read her blog or noticed her comments. But it’s still sick that she did this and I’m glad she was caught and outted. I imagine she leads a pathetic life she thinks no one would be interested in (and I imagine rightly so) so she feels justified in stealing from other people to make herself attractive. People have actually been doing this for a long time – lying about who they are and what they do to make other people interested in them. It’s not right, but she’s not the first. Nor the last.

    My question is, she stole from many blogs – did she rewrite them to maintain consistency? I would think stealing from several sources, things would start to contradict themselves. Or was it just something that didn’t happen or wasn’t noticeable?

    I would just put this behind you, but I think we all need to make sure that there is always a chance someone could by lying. ‘Tis the nature of the Internet and of mankind.

  66. Wow, that is so crazy! Hopefully this is an isolated incident. I’d like to think most people aren’t lying and fabricating stories just for fun (or whatever her reason may be). With the degree to which she took everything, it sounds like she has some serious psychological issues.

  67. with.much.love

    I was also a daily reader of Miss Musing. Reading her blog made me want to focus more on the positive things in life and I often wished I could be more like her. Man, I feel like an idiot, now.

    I can’t believe that she would want to carry this over into IRL meetings, though. THAT is truly sick. I am very very curious what her life is truly like, that she would feel the need to do something like this.

  68. blows my mind

  69. it kind of struck me odd that she didn’t post any more about her boyfriend’s recovery and the fact that he put together a bike for her after the accident? now it all makes sense.

  70. This whole thing made me really upset when I first heard about it, and that was when I just thought it was stealing posts, but to attempt to befriend you while keeping up the charade is unbelievable. I’m so sorry. I hope this doesn’t tarnish blogging for you!

  71. I am just learning about all of this… and cannot believe it… well wait.. yes i can…

    I know of one person in blogland that has been accused of lying and being fake… as I became friends with her, I began to see inconsistencies, and just oddball explanations and off the wall stuff…

    blows my mind that people take the time to lie on the internet and claim it as their own…

    seriously…

    insane.

  72. i am soooo sorry this happened to you!!as follwers we were duped but for you to know her on a personal level as well is so much more.

    i hope it doesn’t close you off completely from trusting other bloggers and your own blogging.

  73. this is so ridiculous to me. i just don’t understand why she would even want to meet you and lie to you about all that stuff, it just seems like a whole lot of work really.

    anyways, i’m sorry this happened to you and i really hope you feel better soon!

  74. Wow. I can’t say that I’m 100% surprised about this person’s blog…I am (was) a follower of it also and left a few comments here and there, but really there was always something that seemed…I don’t know…just not quite right if that makes sense. I could never really identify what was weird and I figured I was just jealous of her beautiful house, her amazing boyfriend, her kind and giving spirit, etc. I wish it had just been me being jealous. What she did was no better than stealing someone’s credit card and using it as her own. Identify theft on the internet.

  75. I’m surprised there hasn’t been more plagiarizing from blogs to be honest, but I’m sorry that you were personally effected by this whole thing. The only encounter I had with Miss Musing was when she added me on 20SB. I never got around to reading her blog.

  76. Joy @ Big Time Fancy

    In a weird way, I feel kind of bad for her. How insecure do you have to be to assume the details of other people’s lives as your own?

  77. I can’t imagine how betrayed you must feel. Healing thoughts to you and everyone affected by this person.

  78. The Talking Mime

    That’s creepy that someone would try to make you think that in reality. I wonder what was going through her head that made her think she could fool you. To think, if you hadn’t met her, it may still be going untnoticed.

  79. I’ve been in complete shock about the entire situation, and I cannot even imagine being in your situation because you actually met her, and she lied to you in person. That makes it a lot different. :/

    More than anything, it makes me sad that someone would feel the need to plagiarize in their blog — a place that should be completely honest. That’s why I blog, and I assume others do this, as well.

  80. Gwen B. (aka skinny bitch)

    I used to read Miss Musings blog until I just got sick of her “perfect life” I read the post about how someone even commented about how her life is TOO perfect and she sat there and defended it. All the stories about walking the dogs and her boyfriend comes to the rescue with her ipod, the surprise getaway to SF, or the collaborative painting, or the quilt she made, or her summer collection of plates and just EVERYTHING. I too wonder if she just jumped on the internet and pasted a bunch of crap pictures. I was expecially skeptical of the painting. Since I am an artist I couldn’t see her having anything to with it and the stupid story behind it either. I eventually got sick of it after that and stopped feeding myself what I know now was bullshit.

    She did seem genuinely nice and sweet and that is just messed up that she would lie about EVERYTHING. I don’t even see what she got out of it. A lot of followers??? I think she is one of those people who is psychologically messed up and alone and needs attention so she is a compulsive liar just to gain the comfort of fake adoration.

    It really does make you question everything she every did and now other bloggers too. It sucks that you met her and was becoming her friend when this all happened. Just proves that you really can’t trust anyone I guess….

  81. I’ve started to see this story pop up a lot today in blogs I read (I’ve only read “Miss Musing” once so I’m a little out of the loop). I’m surprised someone would pull something like this given that it’s hard to keep anything a secret for long online.

  82. Now hearing the entire story, I can only imagine how hurt and shocked you were about this, considering your were IRL friends. I hope this doesn’t taint your thoughts about the rest of us

  83. I can’t even believe this. It makes me leery to trust people as well – and leery to put my life on the internet. My heart goes out to you!

  84. I definitely wonder too how many other phonies are out there. This didn’t leave me mind at all today. Looking back on all her posts I feel naive for not questioning it in the first place. Her pictures were too perfect, her life too perfect, everything was just too much!
    This is just as bad as stealing money or items. She stole someone’s thoughts! That is wrong on so many levels.

  85. Oh my god. I can’t believe this. I’m rereading and rereading everything and I am so shocked. Plagiarism is wrong but what she has done to you is ten times worse.

    I am so sorry that you trusted a person (with every right) and I’m sorry that you feel so hurt and angry and betrayed.

    I hope it gets better and I’m really glad you posted this.

    xx

  86. Oh my goodness, how sad. I'm so sorry this extended to you in real life as well. On a positive note, I can here by way of Michelle & the City and I'm glad to have found your blog. Looks like we run in the same blogger's circle. 🙂

  87. Somewhere In Between

    I was sick to my stomach when I found out. I, too, emailed her and became friends with her, and wished her boyfriend well during his surgery.

    What gets me is that she was so defensive when people accused her life of being too perfect, and that she even had a CREATIVE COMMONS COPYRIGHT on her page!! Apparently, she copyrighted everyone else’s work before they could do it themselves. I’m still in shock, and I’m sorry you’ve gone through what presumably a lot of the blogosphere has gone through recently.

  88. insomniaclolita

    I can’t believe I just know now, Ashley. Been busy all week and I cant believe until Jen told me ;( I’m her reader too, regular one, and I feel hurt. I cant believe how hard it must be for you especially if you have met her and talked and become friends in real life too.

    What a pathological liar. 😦 Really sorry and really hate it that she pulled off something like this.

  89. I read her blog too, and I adored it. I loved reading it, it read like a really well-edited book. And you know why, because she stole other blog posts and edited them to perfection (almost).

    It’s disgusting the way she treated you, how can she do that. I have no idea how such sad and fake people exist in this world. I’m sorry she did this to you.

    But remember that most of your readers are real people, people who are outraged at this little miss musing. . .

    That lady sucks.
    http://fab.typepad.com

  90. Making an IRL friend can be one of the most rewarding things about connecting with fellow bloggers. And it’s so easy to trust them straight off that you feel like old friends since you’ve read so much. But WOW. What a rotten, rotten stunt to pull on you – especially taking it off the blogs and into a personal relationship.

    She’ll get what’s coming to her someday. It all comes back around.

  91. okay that is just crazy. i can’t believe you met her and she continued on with all of the lies! that is just freaky and weird and creepy and down right sad. i almost feel bad for her. but gah, that’s just so horrible all at once too. at least she has shut it all down and will hopefully never blog again unless it’s sincere. sheesh.

  92. That is SO NUTS! I used to read her blog daily for a few months now. It’s sad that she had to resort to something like that…perhaps her life was so horrible that she had to resort make up the perfect life to escape it.

    I was slighty suspecious when I saw her Twitterings from the accident because it said they were from a computer…how could that be if she was on the freeway, right? It should have been from text (i.e., a cell phone) if that had really been the case. It makes sense now…there was no accident.

  93. wow. this is the first ive heard of this story… and im just completely floored. im so sorry you and others had to go through this. it’s just awful and it’s downright creepy.

    but keep your chin up honey. and know that there are lots of good people out there too. hang in there love.

  94. Hi, I’m new 🙂 Unfortunately (or fortunately?) I found you while looking into all this. I was a new reader of Miss Musing as well, so when I first found out about it yesterday, I couldn’t believe it.

    I can’t imagine how you must feel having met her. I think you handled this post perfectly.

    As I think about this, it just seems so ludacris to me to put in all that effort into a fake life. There’s a part of me that feels like there’s got to be some sort of explanation. But then there’s a part of me that gets that she’s just another crazy on the Internet.

    Enough about that, I’m looking forward to catching up on your blog and finding happier things 🙂

  95. This makes me sick to my stomach!! I thought her blog seemed too perfect but I was still a reader. Even the live Tweeting about her boyfriend saving a mother and child from a burning car seemed unbelievable. All I can say is, what comes around goes around. She will get hers one of these days.

  96. A Magical Childhood

    Oh man! What a messed up woman and messed up situation! I’m sorry you were betrayed like this. I can see how you’d be mad and hurt and confused and more.

    It sounds like she missed out on a really good friend by being too afraid of being her real self.

    I hope she manages to grow up or heal or whatever she needs to do to be able to face the world without the masks, and I hope you know that everybody is right when they say there are a thousand real people for every fraud.

    Besides, I think most of us are really too self absorbed to steal other people’s lives. 😉

  97. WOW, so I’ve been out of the loop for ages. This is shocking, and just so sad … I can’t help but think what kind of low self-esteem would drive someone to do that. It’s depressing on a lot of levels, and contradicts so much of what blogging is supposed to be about. At least for me, the blog is a place to be vulnerable–it’s where we share our fears, our hang-ups, our hopes. She could have done the same thing, and probably found support. But to pirate other people’s lives? And to actually carry it into real life? There’s a lot going on there.

    I think you’re right to feel betrayed and hurt. I definitely would! I’d be livid. I think the best way forward is to just let go of her, though. I want to say “don’t let it taint your friendships going forward,” but I feel like those are the sorts of words that are much easier to say than to implement. I’m pretty sure this girl’s a wild exception, though. At least let’s hope so!

    xo!

  98. It is so unfortunate that someone would do this. I would be angry too because I hate when people lie because I want everyone to be honest with themselves and the world, but that’s just my lil beef to deal with 😉 That sux though. At least the truth came out sooner than later!

  99. Mika's Thought's...

    Im just sitting here LMAO @ she was going to the parking lot to get her car but she walked away from it and turned down another street!! She is CRAZY and needs serious help, I know there are alot of vivid dreamers online but even they are sane enough not to make IRL friends…but this girl is really psycho…she met people in person, knowing shes a LIAR and PLAGIARIZES.
    I sooo feel you about not trusting anyone. At this point I don’t care about followers or comments. I’m just gonna continue to blog guilt free and for myself…which is the reason I created a blog in the first place. I’ve made a comment about this on velvets blog- that there are so many bloggers who seem fake to me and most likely they are telling lies. Anyway, I hope you feel better and continue to write. ~Mika.

  100. Mika's Thought's...

    Im just sitting here LMAO @ she was going to the parking lot to get her car but she walked away from it and turned down another street!! She is CRAZY and needs serious help, I know there are alot of vivid dreamers online but even they are sane enough not to make IRL friends…but this girl is really psycho…she met people in person, knowing shes a LIAR and PLAGIARIZES.
    I sooo feel you about not trusting anyone. At this point I don’t care about followers or comments. I’m just gonna continue to blog guilt free and for myself…which is the reason I created a blog in the first place. I’ve made a comment about this on velvets blog- that there are so many bloggers who seem fake to me and most likely they are telling lies. Anyway, I hope you feel better and continue to write. ~Mika.

  101. I’m sorry that you were betrayed.
    I’m new to the blogging community, but had read several of Miss Musings posts. I was impressed with her “originality.” People are a confusing lot, but most of us are good. You know that. 🙂

  102. Je (20-Something)

    This girl is beyond wacko nuts. You know she’s reading everyone’s reaction to what she did – I hope she goes and finds help because it’s seriously something out of a movie and your brain is NOT normal if it functions like this.

    I’m GLAD she’s a fake. I agree with everyone’s comments about her “perfect” life… all the things her boyfriend did, all her crafts, the photos of her “house” that looked like they came out of a design magazine. I was always asking myself how she could afford it with what she did for work, and where in the HELL she was located with stories of the beach, but then in New York the next day. Really I hate to admit that I loved her blog, but it also made me feel kinda less-than happy or content with my own life. I thought on more than one occasion, “Why can’t I be more like THAT.” I don’t appreciate someone fabricating a character that makes a ton of great women feel less amazing. Cause we’re all 100 TIMES more amazing than she’ll ever be.

  103. Like you, I feel as if I’ve been punched in the gut. I’ve hung out with her IRL on numerous occasions, and never once suspected a thing because she seemed so sweet, so genuine, and so sincere.

    Knowing what I know now, what kills me more than anything is that she actually has a life that she does not deserve. I wish that ALL OF IT were made up, because then I could tell myself that she didn’t live in a gorgeous house overlooking the beach, have a fabulous boyfriend, wonderful friends, etc. Unfortunately, those parts were actually true…I’ve been to her house, worked on craft projects with her and her friend, met the people she wrote about,etc. She has a wonderful life, and SHE DESERVES NONE OF IT!

    Ok, I’m clearly rambling now so I’m going to cut myself off, but I just wanted to let you know that you weren’t alone in your feelings of sadness and hurt.

  104. This place, the interwebs, it seemed so safe previously… in some way, I think this was a wake up call that I, and perhaps a few others, needed. I am too quick to let others in, to take them at their words, to try to meet up and see if we click as IRL friends as well as on e-paper. I’m so sorry that you were as directly effected as you were, but hopefully we can all take an important lesson away from this…

    And I hope that girl gets some serious help, wherever she is.

  105. remember moments

    that pisses me off too – I was following her on Twitter when the ‘accident’ happened. only a sick person would create a story like that AND twitter about it!

  106. closetsareforclothes

    i’m sad. i thought she was nice. i agree with nicoleantoinette on this one…a lesson in awareness. it’s a reality check for sure.

    i didn’t know her well, but i do think it was insecurity. how she had a coach bag giveaway to increase readership etc…

    you have to feel sorry for her, but i think your anger in completely justified.

  107. Tristan | the arw

    I am just catching up on all this drama and found your post from Undercurrents. I’m curious — have you heard from her at all? Considering the two of you actually met a couple times, has she reached out to apologize to you? What an unfortunate turn of events in the blogosphere. And what a disappointment.

  108. wow, I just started reading this issue about this other person. I’m not sure if I ever read her but I think that’s having some nerve to come up with all those lies and being so deceiving.

  109. Wow! Ok..I used to read this person’s blog. And I’m surprised at myself for not considering this possibility before. I’m sure people do this! But to such an extent…?

    I mean I know I may exaggerate my sorrows when ranting, but they are MY sorrows to begin with.

    I am shocked.

  110. Princess Pointful

    I was out of town the week that this happened, and am just now starting to get the full picture. I used to read her blog, too, but we were never close– and still I feel a bad taste in my mouth.
    It is a betrayal by itself to have someone steal and lie online… but to do it to a real friend? That is unconscionable. I’m sorry you have been so betrayed.

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