I am officially done with graduate school. I have no more papers to write, no more tests to take, and no more classes to attend.
I am finished.
I almost got emotional during my last class last night as we were processing the termination. As counselors we process everything. How do you feel about that? What would you say to your client if they were terminating in therapy? How would you feel about that if someone told you the same advice? How will you keep growing even after you finish this class? What are you feeling right now?
I felt happy and sad. I was so glad to finally be finished and not have to stress about the work anymore. I was happy that I had made it through. I was proud of myself. But I was also sad. I spoke about how I wished we had more time because I was just beginning to feel it click. I felt like I was finally beginning to figure it all out and now that we had to stop, it made me sad. I also said that I thought it was a good thing to be sad because that means I will miss it and that means it was worth it.
It was so encouraging to hear the professor and TAs speak about their experience of the class. They said they could see how much we’ve changed over the semester and how fulfilling that is for them. They said they were proud of us and know that we worked hard. I had to hold the tears back as they were speaking. It was a lot to take in knowing that this was our last class together, but also, there was a parallel process because this was my last class, forever. Everything they were saying also applies to entire career as a student so it was a little hard to not become overwhelmed with emotions.
We got our grades last night at the end of class. I got a B. I wasn’t surprised at all considering that talk I had with the professor and TAs a few weeks back, but honestly, I was still angry. I worked so hard in this class. I cried, I fought, I collapsed in tears. I put my whole self into it. And all I got was a B? It doesn’t seem fair. But it’s done.
I passed and I’m happy about that.
I’m also really happy that graduation is in exactly one week. Woo!
I made it. 🙂