I’ve been married for about four months now and a vast majority of my friends are still single. So I’ve started getting lots of comments along the lines of “I can’t wait until I find someone to settle down with, so I can be done with the drama of dating.” And yes, dating can be dramatic (as evidenced by this blog and Ashley’s experiences). There are crappy dates, undefined relationships, bad kissers, and exes.
Aaah, exes. Well, single people of the world, I’m sorry to burst your bubble here, but the ex-factor? It never goes away. Despite the fact that I’m a newlywed, I’ve been with my husband (and yes, it takes some getting used to to type that) for over four years. So clearly, any exes that I have are far in the past, and as such, you would think would be non-issues.
You would be wrong.
Let me tell you a little story about my ex, E. We dated for about two and a half years, ranging from high school to the start of my freshman year in college (he is a year younger). E was my first everything. First love, first person I was intimate with, and eventually, first heartbreak.
Fast forward to today. We haven’t seen each other in probably close to three years, but we correspond occasionally and are certainly not friends, but we’re not on bad terms either. Or at least we weren’t until last week.
I get a call from my dad on Sunday morning to tell me that he and my mother ran into E and his new girlfriend (a 100 lb blond chicklet, of course) at a restaurant the night before. He follows this with “I think we’re going to have lunch sometime soon.” My reaction: “Umm, why??” Well, apparently they now have some business interests in common, and work near each other, so apparently my dad and my ex are going to “do lunch.” Weird, but whatever.
So, I go on The Book and write on E’s wall “Hey, heard you might be having lunch with my dad to talk business, when did we get so old?” Casual, friendly, innocent. Or so I thought.
Apparently the new girlfriend, a.k.a. Barbie as I will now refer to her, is a jealous one. So, I guess he must have downplayed who my parents were when the met the night before, and then my writing on his wall brought up the issue again. And she didn’t like it. Whoops.
Now seriously, I’m MARRIED. Does she think that I’m going to divorce my husband and go back to my high school sweetheart? Or perhaps she just thinks I look like a girl with a penchant for cheating? Either way, the fact that she is remotely threatened by me is ridiculous, although slightly flattering. And now apparently E and I will not be continuing our casual acquaintance.
Moral of the story: being married (or at least in a serious relationship) does make some things easier and less dramatic. But the ex issues, they’re here to stay.