The Ex Files

This post was written by Jessica from Beautify My Life as part of the 20SB blog swap.

I’ve been married for about four months now and a vast majority of my friends are still single. So I’ve started getting lots of comments along the lines of “I can’t wait until I find someone to settle down with, so I can be done with the drama of dating.” And yes, dating can be dramatic (as evidenced by this blog and Ashley’s experiences). There are crappy dates, undefined relationships, bad kissers, and exes.

Aaah, exes. Well, single people of the world, I’m sorry to burst your bubble here, but the ex-factor? It never goes away. Despite the fact that I’m a newlywed, I’ve been with my husband (and yes, it takes some getting used to to type that) for over four years. So clearly, any exes that I have are far in the past, and as such, you would think would be non-issues.

You would be wrong.

Let me tell you a little story about my ex, E. We dated for about two and a half years, ranging from high school to the start of my freshman year in college (he is a year younger). E was my first everything. First love, first person I was intimate with, and eventually, first heartbreak.

Fast forward to today. We haven’t seen each other in probably close to three years, but we correspond occasionally and are certainly not friends, but we’re not on bad terms either. Or at least we weren’t until last week.

I get a call from my dad on Sunday morning to tell me that he and my mother ran into E and his new girlfriend (a 100 lb blond chicklet, of course) at a restaurant the night before. He follows this with “I think we’re going to have lunch sometime soon.” My reaction: “Umm, why??” Well, apparently they now have some business interests in common, and work near each other, so apparently my dad and my ex are going to “do lunch.” Weird, but whatever.

So, I go on The Book and write on E’s wall “Hey, heard you might be having lunch with my dad to talk business, when did we get so old?” Casual, friendly, innocent. Or so I thought.

Apparently the new girlfriend, a.k.a. Barbie as I will now refer to her, is a jealous one. So, I guess he must have downplayed who my parents were when the met the night before, and then my writing on his wall brought up the issue again. And she didn’t like it. Whoops.

Now seriously, I’m MARRIED. Does she think that I’m going to divorce my husband and go back to my high school sweetheart? Or perhaps she just thinks I look like a girl with a penchant for cheating? Either way, the fact that she is remotely threatened by me is ridiculous, although slightly flattering. And now apparently E and I will not be continuing our casual acquaintance.

Moral of the story: being married (or at least in a serious relationship) does make some things easier and less dramatic. But the ex issues, they’re here to stay.


7 responses to “The Ex Files

  1. I have a similar “The Book,” story! My college boyfriend found me on FB and requested my friendship. Of course I said yes, because like you, we weren’t on bad terms. Well the next day I received a request from his girlfriend (now, wife, I believe). I didn’t want to deny her since I didn’t know her, but it was still weird. And then she started emailing me stories about their dates, tagging me in notes about their love and so I decided to unfriend both of them. The Book is an interesting place =)

  2. Wow, interesting story! If she doesn’t trust him, she needs to reevaluate and so does he. Ex files definitely still come into play, I just read this book “Love The One You’re With” which was all about an ex coming back into this newlywed girl’s life. It’s a good book!

  3. Oh the exes and Jess is absolutely right. Since I love to read a good ex story, I will share one of mine:

    My ex was not friends with anyone in my circle while we were dating (2.5yrs) so imagine my surprise when my brother was asked to be the best man in his wedding!? We weren’t on bad terms and I was dating my husband at the time, but when he had 4 brothers to choose from I found it wierd.

  4. I totally get this! I’ve been with my current boyf around 3 years now and we recently bumped into my highschool ex (with his new girlfriend whom I know too).As if things weren’t bad enough he simply ignored us and walked away while the 3 of us were left to awkwardly say hi to each other! Gosh oh well needless to say the ex files will always be here to stay.

  5. Definitely dramatic! I’ve had similar situations in the past, but I’ve since left those people far in the past. It’s easier that way. πŸ™‚

  6. Bois… Sheesh. I recently ran into one of mine whom I used to teach snowboarding with, and when I jokingly told him of my proximity to the mountains he said to me “Well, I hated you before and now I hate you even more.”
    I didn’t know wo were on hating terms at all…

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