Online Dating, Not Quite Yet

Last week I was talking to one of my best friends about her adventures on She was getting ready for her first coffee date with a man she met online. She was excited, but nervous and unsure about how to end the date. I reassured her that it would be fine and she would know what felt right.

When she left it got me thinking. Now that I’m back in Texas, my pool of available men has changed. When I moved here I didn’t have a plan of when I wanted to start dating again. I thought I might find a job, move into an apartment, and get settled before I put myself out into the dating scene again. But talking with my friend changed my mind a bit.

It gave me the urge to meet someone. I checked online and had a free 7-day trial, so I signed up. I edited my profile from NYC to Austin and over the next few hours my inbox filled with messages. I read through them and smiled to myself. This was nice; a girl loves a good ego boost.

I replied to the few I thought were decent and went about my day. It wasn’t until I got replies that asked if I wanted to meet that I realized how uncomfortable I was.

My stomach turned as I read the line “How about some coffee or drinks this week?” In my opinion you should feel excited or slight nervousness, not dread when thinking about meeting someone new.

I closed the window on my computer screen and thought about it for a while. Yep, I’m not ready for this.

So I’m ending my free trial and taking things slow. I figure when I’m ready to start dating again, I’ll know. I’ll feel that chemistry and my heart will flutter with excitment. Until then, I’ll relish in the stories I hear from my friends and that’s just fine with me.


9 responses to “Online Dating, Not Quite Yet

  1. ReinventingAmy

    I felt the same way when guys asked me out thru Match. They seemed perfectly nice, but when it came down to them asking me out- I wasn’t feeling it. I discovered though I didn’t like “stranger dating”. I like already knowing someone or having an activity in common vs meeting them off match.

    You’ll know when you’re ready đŸ™‚

  2. I signed up for a few years ago and realized I wasn’t ready to meet anyone new. Dating a stranger seemed so, well, strange. About a year later, I tried it again and ended up meeting my boyfriend of 2+ years. It’s all about timing, so don’t rush yourself. You’ll know when the time is right to get back out there.

  3. I personally don’t like the idea of online dating, yet people I know around me suggest it as an option. I know of success stories and also horror stories as a result of online dating.

    I am not ready to sit behind my computer and “date” online. I am such a people person that I feel that I will get bored with it.


  4. It’s hard to make decisions like this sometimes, especially when everyone around is talking about it BUT it’s important to know what is right for you =)

    You have enough fun stuff to enjoy for the time being anyway!

  5. cuteellaisbold

    You let me know. I know a couple single pilots who might be right up your alley.

  6. I’d feel the same way as you. It’s a new ballpark! A friend of mine and I were talking the other day and were wondering if she knew her soulmate already but it just hasn’t happened yet. Or he’s still out there for her and hasn’t met him yet or they hate each other now but will fall in love later? haha.

  7. Sometimes those things are interesting in that they’re great experiments about where we’re at- knowing you’re not ready to meet up is just as valuable information as knowing you are ready.

    It’s a big change you’re going thought- I don’t think I would be able to bring a boy into that picture until I had my feet under me some more too!

  8. Always go with your gut.

  9. Definitely take your time. I feel overwhelmed by it sometimes so I do it at my own pace.

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