It’s a weird feeling, knowing I should be celebrating your birthday today, but also feeling that I can’t because you aren’t here.
Last year was hard for me. It was your first birthday after you died. I’m sure I cried for hours not knowing what to do with myself. But it’s a year later and I’m in a better place. I’m home and I’m surrounded by friends and family. You don’t need to worry. I’m so sad that you aren’t here to celebrate with us, but I’m not falling apart. I want you to know that I am happy even though there are tears streaming down my cheeks. I just miss you. I miss your laugh and your goofy smile. I miss the sound of your voice and those delicious meals you loved to make. I miss your hugs and all the fatherly advice you loved to pass on to me. I miss those silly baseball caps you loved to wear and your cowboys boots too. I miss it all.
I’m sad that I don’t have the chance to make any new memories with you, but I’ve learned though, that as long as I keep the old memories alive, I’m not losing anything. And the memories I have are special enough to last a lifetime, so I think I’m set.
Happy Birthday, Dad. I love you.