The boy saga continues… or ends

Of course, the same day I published my last post about “moving on”, the boy decides to email me. The same freaking day. I shouldn’t have been so surprised. That’s how life works, right?

His email was short and basically asked if I still hated him, if he could talk to me yet, and how I was doing. Thankfully I was still at work when I saw it pop up in my inbox and my co-workers were around to save me from a major freak out session.  After five minutes of “OMG, what do I do? Do I write back? What do I say? Whyyy is he emailing me???!” I was fine.

I waited a day and wrote back. I wanted to let him know that I was still upset, but that I didn’t hate him. I wanted to be a little feisty and show that what he did was not so easily forgivable. But I also didn’t want to be too mean.

“Hey, I’m kinda surprised to hear from you. I understand what you were feeling (or not feeling) and why you ended things, but I think you handled it in a really crappy way. I’m still trying to decide if someone who could do that to me is someone I want in my life. I don’t hate you or anything, but I’m not ready to talk or start being friends. I hope Austin in treating you well; [my town] has been surprisingly entertaining lately.”

I thought I wouldn’t hear from him again. I thought he would wait and give me time and space. But no. I got another email from him at 1am the next morning. A novel of an email.

He rambled. He tried to explain himself. He said “something was missing” between us, again. He repeated everything he said during the break-up conversation. It was like he was ending things all over again. He also complimented me and said he was being sincere when he said he wanted to be friends. Then he apologized for hurting me.

That was Thursday night.

I decided to take a few days to think about it. I talked to my friends. I talked to my mom. I talked to other guys. I asked their opinions. I focused on how I really felt and how I wanted this to turn out. Finally I decided the boy and I needed to talk. My stomach was in a knot and I knew it would only get worse if I let things stay how they were. So Monday afternoon I made my move and started a conversation on gchat.

We talked for almost twenty minutes and laid everything out for each other. I was honest and told him why I was so upset. I told him that I felt like he was acting like he really liked me for so long and that’s why it was such a shock when he ended it. I told him that if he was having second thoughts about us he shouldn’t have talked about the future or invited me to dinner with his parents. He apologized again. He explained his thought process more clearly which helped me to understand where he was coming from. I told him he acted like a jerk and he agreed. I told him I wanted to try to be friends with him eventually, but that I really liked him and I couldn’t just switch off those feelings. He said he understood and he would give me as much time and space as I needed. He told me to let him know when I wanted to talk again.

So overall I think it went really well. I feel like we cleared the air and that will make it easier for me to move on.

He also gave me permission to punch him if I ever see him again… which I just might have to do.

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15 responses to “The boy saga continues… or ends

  1. Ummm, this guy is the KING of mixed signals! If “something’s missing” then why is he so worried about your opinion and staying friends with you? I just really don’t get it. Clearly, his thoughts aren’t as black and white as he’d like them to be. But regardless, the most important thing is for you to think about what you need, how you feel, what you’d like to see come of this. And if it’s nothing? Then you’re entitled to punch him and walk away!

  2. I agree with StaceyParadise 100% I don’t think I need to add anything, just good luck. I’m glad clearing the air is helping you move on.

  3. I agree with Stacey… TONS of mixed signals. Wtf? You handled things very classily though! (is classily a word?) I’m super impressed, I would have probably been pretty catty or snotty to him and you were civil and honest. I loved your response! Go, Ashley!

  4. Sheesh! Punch him. Hahah! Just kidding. I’m glad you two were able to accomplish some sort of closure. I hope he won’t continue to open the wound though.

  5. You are amazing… I was never good with break ups and you are handling yourself so well (way better than I would have! I get a little crazy heh) Good for you for telling him EXACTLY why he was wrong. While I do think he was a jerk bigtime, I can respect that he was honest with you in the end because a lot of guys aren’t. But still, I do agree with everyone else that he is the King of mixed signals!

    Also, if he’s willing to let you go then he doesn’t deserve you anyway. One of my favorite quotes is “Be with someone who knows what they have when they have YOU” You deserve the best and someone who truly adores you for everything you are. And I just know you will find that. 🙂

  6. i think punching can be a good thing sometimes. and way to handle this all like a rock star and i’m glad you have so many friends and family and just all around support around you to give you advice and just be there for you because that’s one of the most important things.

  7. I say take him up on that punch. He seems really good at contradicting himself. I am glad that you have great people around to keep your spirits up and offer advice.

  8. Ugh, I’m so sorry love. I hope you eventually get over him and move on. I’m not sure I could be friends with him (but that’s just me!). Good luck and let us know how it goes.

  9. Sounds like you handled it perfectly!!

  10. Punching sounds okay to me! 😛

  11. 1) Definitely punch him if you get the chance!
    2) You handled the situation really well, just make sure you don’t try to be friends before you are ready!

  12. walkingonsunshine18

    The closure talk is the worst talk but sometimes it’s so helpful…

  13. i’m glad that you were able to get what you wanted off of your chest! moving on can be a long process sometimes but you’re on your way ❤

  14. im so sorry all of this happened. i read about the ending of things and i cant remember whether i came by to say that im sorry… but i am.
    it sounds like it was a good thing, the talk, because it at least clarified some things, and hopefully offered some closure.
    hang in there sweetie.

  15. The last line kind of made me laugh. 🙂 I think he deserves a swift kick in the butt too!

    I’m glad you have some closure to allow you to move forward. You’re a strong, strong person and I admire you for talking it out with him.

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