So, hello again

I’m the type of person who likes to be genuine and fully committed.  I  prefer to be honest and real in all that I do. So when I didn’t feel like blogging for almost two months, I didn’t force myself. I knew it would be pressed and come across as fake and I never want that to happen. I’m sorry for leaving you all so abruptly; it wasn’t planned, I promise. Maybe I just needed a break. I’m not sure what came over me. I thought about blogging almost daily. I opened my reader every few days and browsed through blogs, curious as to what was happening in all your lives. I smiled hugely when I saw new comments asking if I was ever coming back. I missed you all, but I still wasn’t ready to jump back in. Then tonight, unexpectedly, I was filled with motivation and the desire to write. So, hello again.

I really cannot believe how much time has passed. There is so much I want to share with you.

Did you know that I got back together with The Boy after my last post? Did you know that we dated for almost  a month, he was perfect, and then he broke up with me again? Did you also know that I’m not nearly as heartbroken as the first time (perhaps because I guarded my heart more securely this time around) and honestly, I’m not  entirely surprised at how things have turned out?

Did you know that I’ve been working crazy long days, but loving almost every minute of my job? Seriously, I have the best co-workers and I am so thankful to work for such an amazing company. I love that I get to impact the lives of children and adolescents on a daily basis and see their relationships with their families improving. Amazing.

Did you know that I’ve had a conversation or two with C over the past few weeks? It was the first time I was able to talk openly with him about The Boy and he was honest enough to give me his opinion and point of view about the situation. He explained how he felt that I “quickly become emotionally attached” in relationships which “can be a good thing, or a terrible thing in the wrong hands”… and that “because of [my] past, those feelings mean more to [me] than most people”. Umm… exactly. That guy knows me so well. Before we hung up I was sure to thank him profusely for a free therapy session.

Did you know that I’ve made some major progress on my 101 in 1001? Well I have and you should go check it out.

So let’s review, shall we? Since I last blogged, I got back together with the boy, had a few weeks of bliss, was broken up with again, began moving on, spent many long hours at work, and re-focused my attention on myself.  I’ve spent my days doing what I need to be happy. I’ve begun reading a new book, I’ve explored new music, I’ve talked to friends, I’ve drank wine, and I’ve run a few extra minutes past my goal on the treadmill. I’ve been trying to empower myself. Things are good. So… what’s new with you?

2009 In Review

1. What did you do in 2009 that you’d never done before?
Went to Vegas with some amazing girls, graduated with my Master’s degree, took a cruise with two of my best friends, moved back into my mother’s house, got a job, bought a car, and turned 25.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I didn’t make any resolutions last year, although I promised myself that I would get a job. And I accomplished that, so… yay! I’m no, I’m not making any specific resolutions this year.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
My cousin had a beautiful little girl, Londyn.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
No, thank God, I had enough of that in 2008.

5. What countries did you visit?
Belize and Honduras

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
More money- to pay off loans and to travel.

7. What dates from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
May 20th- I graduated, May 23rd- one year anniversary of my dad’s death, July 15th- I moved back to Texas, September 20th- my 25th birthday, September 28th- I was officially hired for my first real grown up job

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Graduating and getting a job

9. What was your biggest failure?
Hmm… I haven’t had too many failures this year I guess…. there are some things I probably shouldn’t have done, but I don’t consider them failures.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I woke up incredibly sick on New Year’s Day. That was not fun.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
My car.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
All the new friends I’ve met since I moved back to Texas.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
The media and government.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Toward my student loans and rent.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Finishing grad school! Getting a job! Buying a car! Meeting a really nice/hot/funny/respectful boy!

16. What song will always remind you of 2009?
“Don’t Step Believing”- the Glee version

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder?
b) thinner or fatter?
c) richer or poorer?
Definitely happier, probably thinner (or about the same), and a lot richer. I love paychecks.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Exercise. Talk to friends. Read.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Worrying about finding a job.

20. How did you spend Christmas?
In Austin with my mom, sister, and grandfather. And the boy and I watched The Proposal together that night.

21. Did you fall in love in 2009?
No.

22. What was your favorite TV program?
Glee. And then Grey’s, Private Practice, How I Met Your Mother, The Office and Modern Family.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
No.

24. What was the best book you read?
Sadly, because I didn’t read much, Twilight.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
John Mayer. Although I liked him before, I’m sort of in love with his new album, Battle Studies.

26. What did you want and get?
A job.

27. What did you want and not get?
A better paying job.

28. What was your favorite film of this year?
(500) Days of Summer.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I got a pedicure with a friend, had lunch with friends and my sister, saw a movie (maybe? I don’t remember…) and then had dinner at The Melting Pot with friends and my mom. I turned 25.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Being able to talk to my dad.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?
More professional, mixed with a feminine casual cuteness.

32. What kept you sane?
Coffee.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Robert Pattinson.

34. What political issue stirred you the most?
Gay marriage.

35. Who did you miss?
My dad. C. My roommate from NYC.

36. Who was the best new person you met?
The boy. Even though I technically knew him before, it doesn’t count.

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009.
Everything will work out. Stop worrying. Everything happens for a reason. Seriously, stop worrying.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
“If fear hasn’t killed me yet then nothing will
All the suffering and all the pain
Never left a name
I’m in the war of my life, at the door of my life
Out of  time and there’s nowhere to run
I’m in the war of my life, at the core of my life
Got no choice but to fight til it’s done”
-War of My Life, by John Mayer

Chips and Queso and Christmas

Is this really only my third time to blog in December? I’ve been such a slacker. Or maybe life just happened. I think that’s it. I guess when I’m happy I decide I don’t need to blog as much?

So, I’ve been busy doing things like driving over 1,000 miles, helping my mom as she recovered from gallbladder surgery, visiting my cousin and her new baby, getting drinks with friends, exercising three times a week, going to dinner and watching movies with the boy, and somehow squeezing some work hours in there too.

See? Busy-ness.

In other news I talked to C on Saturday night… for the first time in almost two months. He called as the boy and I were standing at my front door saying goodnight which made the situation completely awkward.

Me looking at my phone: Oh no, I’m not answering that.
The boy: Why not?
Me: Because…
The boy: Oh, it’s an ex-boyfriend?
Me: Yeah…

I called C back when I got inside. He said he called because he was hanging out with an old mutual friend of ours and just wanted to say hi. He asked how I was doing and apologized for not returning my phone calls. Apparently he’s “not allowed” to talk to me anymore (crazy new girlfriend!), but I told him it was fine. I really do understand. We talked about our mutual friend, my job, life in general, and how weird it was that we hadn’t spoken in forever. Then his phone started to die. He said he’d get his charger and call me back… but never did. It’s probably better than I not talk to him anyway…

Things are going really well with the boy. We talk just about every day. Actually, I think we’ve talked every day except one. He’s entertaining when I’m driving for hours on end. He’s funny on gchat. My friends like him. My mom hasn’t met him yet, but she likes what she’s heard. He bought me a Christmas present “because he saw something that he knew I would love”. He’s creative and thoughtful when planning our dates. He plans our dates because he knows how much I love plans. It’s really cute.

So the plan for tomorrow night? We’re going to dinner at Chuy’s, my most favorite restaurant ever. Then we’re going to see this huuuuuge Christmas tree made of lights in Austin, and then we’re going to look at Christmas lights. I’m so giddy I can barely contain myself. This boy obviously knows the way to my heart. Chips and queso and Christmas. Love it.

Blogging Through The Years: Kindergarten

A few weeks ago I was reading Ashley’s blog, Writing To Reach You, when she started a new series called Blogging Through The Years.  The idea is that you write a blog post about each year, beginning with kindergarten and following through college. Once I read Ashley’s post about kindergarten, I knew I wanted to follow along and write about my own experiences as well. If you like this idea, feel free to join us!

I remember certain parts of kindergarten fairly well considering I barely turned five years old that September. In fact, I probably remember more from kindergarten than I do from first grade, but we’ll get to that later.

Kindergarten was not my first year of school. I had been in mother’s day out and spent a year in pre-school, so I was familiar with the routines. My teacher was an older lady with gray hair and big glasses. She reminded me of a nice grandmother, but she also scared me.

When my mom or dad would drop me off at school in the morning, I would stand at the window in my classroom and watch them drive away. I remember being so sad that they left me, but I don’t think I cried… too much.

My sister was born that August. I remember feeling her kick inside my mom’s stomach. I remember being woken up in the middle of the night and taken to the neighbor’s house. I remember my dad driving me to the hospital the next morning and holding her for the first time, but I don’t remember much else about having a baby sister this year.

This was the year I met most of the friends I would keep until fifth grade. Our school was small with only one or two classes per grade. My best friend in kindergarten was a girl named Samantha. I don’t remember much of her at school, but I remember playing barbies at her house. She moved away after that year and I never saw her again. I still think about her sometimes and I’ve even tried to look her up on facebook, but no luck.

In school, when we were learning how to connect the dots I was told to sit behind the teacher’s desk because I was connecting the numbers… not the dots. It was so embarrassing and I’m pretty sure this is one of the reasons I’m such a perfectionist when it comes to school work.

One day I walked into the classroom wearing a baggy sweatshirt with rhinestones all over it and the teacher told me that she wished they made it in her size. even thought I’m sure she didn’t mean it, I felt like the coolest kid in school that day.

We took a field trip to a local farm we where saw different animals that year. At the end of the trip the farmer asked if anyone wanted to put a snake around their neck. A few kids volunteered, but I was too scared. Our teacher did it and someone took a picture. I kept that photograph for years. I may still have it in a box somewhere.

During free centers I would pick out a book, sit in a chair, and my friends would sit on the floor in a semi-circle in front of me. I told them I knew how to read, but really, I would make up a story as I turned the pages of the book. I don’t think anyone ever figured out my elaborate scheme.

Every day we would sit on the floor and learn different stories. Often the teacher would have an easel with felt pictures to illustrate the story. One time the teacher was explaining how someone was fired from their job. She asked to make we sure we all knew what that meant. No one raised their hand, but I thought it meant the person was burned alive while they were at work.

During our handwriting lessons we learned to write each letter of the alphabet. One day the teacher told me my “m” was beautiful, but a little too close to the next letter. I was so sad that I had to erase it.

Every morning we counted our numbers aloud and the teach followed along with her pointer on the large number chart hanging on the wall. I thought this was so boring and most of the time I only mouthed the words.

We had naptime every afternoon with the other kindergarten class from across the hall. On the days when I wasn’t tired, I would sleep next to this boy, Michael, and play with his fingers while he was sleeping. (Yes, I was a strange child, haha.) He never woke up, but it kept me entertained.

When I wasn’t bothering Michael while he was trying to sleep, I was watching the other kindergarten teacher cut out pieces of paper. I was in awe of how she could move the scissors around so quickly without making any mistakes.

This was also the year I got the chicken pox. I don’t remember being sick or feeling itchy, but I do remember my Nana coming to stay with me while my parents were at work. She painted my nails and took me to McDonald’s. I thought it was so cool that I got to miss school and play on the playscape and eat french fries.

 

All You Need

Sometimes life can be amazing and happy and stress-free.

And sometimes little frustrations find their way in and make you want to punch them in the face.

When that happens…

Sometimes all you need is a road trip with your sister, a handful of your favorite 90’s cds, and a flip camera.

(If you are reading this through a reader, click on over to my blog to see the video. Otherwise this post is not nearly as entertaining.)

Vodpod videos no longer available.

P.S. Don’t forget to enter my Starbucks Doubleshot Energy+Coffee Giveaway! Contest ends 11/2/09.

You will smile and feel loved

You will wake up this morning with a smile on your face. You will lay in bed for few extra minutes, just because you can. You will decide to bake your favorite treat for breakfast, and you will relish your favorite smell- cinnamon rolls baking the kitchen. Your mother will greet you with a hug and a “Happy Birthday!” You will smile and feel loved.

You will remember that your dad is not here to celebrate with you, and you will be sad. You will think of him often and reserve him a few thoughts filled with memories of happiness. You will remember how he felt about you. You will smile and feel loved.

You will take a long, hot shower, put on your new favorite Gap jeans and a top, and then turn on your laptop. You will read facebook messages, emails, and twitter updates from friends all over the world wishing you a happy birthday. You will smile and feel loved.

You will go to lunch with tour best friends at your new favorite Mexican restaurant. You will order chicken quesadillas and your celebratory Mexican martini. You will laugh for hours and be thankful for your best girls. You will smile and feel loved.

You will convince your best friend to go see Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs in 3D. You will both laugh at the hot dogs, sushi, pizza, bagels, and ice cream falling from the sky. You will share a bag of popcorn mixed with M&Ms. You will smile and feel loved.

You will open your presents from your mom in a pink bag with a cupcake made out of glitter. She knows you too well. Inside you will find the most adorable black and white umbrella, two sweet (almost to the point of making you cry) cards, and Twilight. She knows you’ve been wanting that DVD for months. You will smile and feel loved.

You will lay in bed before you fall asleep and think back over the events of the day. It was a birthday to be remembered.

You will smile because you are loved.

Reviewing Year Twenty-four

Today I turn twenty-five!

I have a sneaky little feeling that this year is going to be amazing. I mean, it has to be with the new apartment, job, roommate, town and… life. But before I get ahead of myself, this past year has been filled with memories I don’t want to forget. Here is just a snippet of what happened:

1. I began my internship at an adult home working with clients with schizophrenia.
2. I went on a few dates with NB.
3. I saw Hanson in concert.
4. I missed my dad.
5. I became obsessed with Twilight.
6. I signed up for online dating.
7. I went on a date that cost over $1,300.
8. I attempted to navigate the “friend” category with C.
9. I had some really tough days.
10. I had some really bad dates.
11. I took more steps to become a counselor.
12. I met some awesome bloggers.
13. I spent Spring Break in Las Vegas.
14. I worried about the future.
15. I had a really great weekend.
16. I met a “fake blogger”.
17. I graduated.
18. I went on a cruise.
19. I decided to switched blogs.
20. I left New York City for Texas.
21. I went on several interviews.
22. I had an amazing Gap Party.
23. I almost moved to Korea.
24. I got a grown up job.
25. I bought a car.

26. I wished for year twenty-five to filled with just as many wonderful and perfect memories.