Even the Nice Ones Will Break Your Heart

To say that it came as a surprise would be a huge understatement.

There were no warning signs, no tips to let me know he was thinking of ending it. Thursday night we talked on the phone for an hour and he invited me to a wedding in March. He called me Friday after he got off work and asked me to come over. As I was driving over to his apartment we were talking on the phone and he invited me to have dinner with his family on Saturday. I told him I would love to go. When I got to his apartment we went out to dinner and then watched a movie. We laughed and talked for hours. He asked me to stay the night, but I told him I needed to go home since I was staying with my mom. He walked me to my car and told me he would call me in the morning.

Saturday afternoon I met him at work before we went to the University of Texas basketball game. “I found a movie that we need to go see. Come watch this trailer”, he said. He wrapped his arms around my waist and spun me around to kiss him. During the basketball game he held my hand. Later we went back to his apartment to change clothes before meeting his parents and grandmother for dinner. We ate shrimp cocktail, salads, filet mignon, and cheesecake. I shared a bottle of wine with his mother. His dad asked about my job and where I went to school. We talked about New York. The boy rubbed my leg under the table and smiled. His parents joked about how the boy is obsessed with sports. His mother mentioned that we should all go to church in the morning and then go out for breakfast. After dinner we went back to his parents house where his mother gave me a tour and showed me pictures from the boy’s childhood. When we left their house, the boy and I stopped by my sister’s apartment so that I could introduce them. We watched the first half of Happy Gilmore before we drove back to his apartment.

All evening he had been a bit quieter than normal, but I figured he was just tired since he was up late the night before and had worked all morning. It was barely 11:00pm when we got back to his apartment so I assumed we would hang out for while and I would go back to my mom’s house around 1:00am, like I had every other Saturday night. The boy and I were laying on the couch watching TV when he said, “I’m really tired, I think I’m going to go to sleep.” “Aww, I guess I’ll go home then,” I said sadly, but trying to be understanding. I was surprised because the boy had never acted like this before, but I didn’t argue. He walked me to my car. “Drive safely tomorrow,” he said. This threw me off completely. I never told him I was driving the 75 minutes back to my apartment the next day. I had actually planned to stay all day Sunday to see him again. I looked at him. “Okay…” I said with a hint of surprise and anger. He gave me a hug and kiss goodnight. “Bye then.” I got in my car and drove back to my mom’s house trying to figure out what just happened. The boy had never been a jerk before… why did he just do that? I decided I wouldn’t be angry, but just text him the truth. “I want to stay and see you tomorrow,” I wrote.  We text back and forth for half an hour, me saying I want to see him, him saying I should go back to my apartment so I can see my friends. Finally he asked if I want to stay and go to church with him. “Yes, but I feel awkward now, like you doesn’t want me to come.” “Don’t be like that,” he said. “I’ll pick you up around 9:15.”

In the morning he called to say he was on his over. He pulled in the driveway, came to the front door and walked me back to the car. As soon as he closed his door he looked at me. “We needed to have a talk.” My heart stopped. I knew something was wrong the night before, but I had no idea it would lead to this. “I don’t think we should see each other anymore,” he said. I calmly asked why. He explained that he always had a lot of fun with me and that he thought I was really nice and cute, but something was missing. He said he had been waiting to feel something more, but it wasn’t there. He said he wanted to be excited to see me when I come to town, but he wasn’t. I tried to ignore the crushing pain in my stomach and nodded my head. He said he could tell I really liked him a lot this weekend and that he thought it would be wrong to keep seeing me knowing that he didn’t feel the same way. “I was a dick last night and you don’t deserve to be treated that way. I could tell you were upset.” “Yeah, you were a dick,” I agreed. He said he talked to his friends about this a couple weeks ago, and he was waiting to see if something would happen and he would feel differently, but it hadn’t. I asked why he introduced me to his parents if he wasn’t sure if he really liked me. He said he didn’t think it was that big of a deal, that he introduces all his friends to his family. I pointed out that he wasn’t dating all his other friends and that this was different. He said I was right and he hoped we could still talk, if I wasn’t too mad at him. I didn’t say anything, knowing I would be lying. “I guess you have to go to church now,” I finally broke the silence. “I can talk a little bit longer,” he replied. “No,” I said, “I don’t really have anything to say.” He told me he was sorry. “Yeah, this sucks.” We both got out of the car and he gave me a hug. “Thanks for being honest, I guess…” I said and I walked back inside the house. Shocked.

Almost 30 hours later and I still don’t believe it. Did that really just happen?

Was he faking it the entire time and leading me on? He really didn’t like me? All those nice gestures, asking me to spend the night, planning for Valentine’s day and a wedding in March, taking me to dinner, and telling me you want to spend all your free time with me? That’s what you do for someone you don’t really like? I’m not sure I believe that.

But then if he wasn’t telling the truth, there are only a few other explanations, none of which make me feel any better.

Possibly his parents said something to him? Even though we seemed to get along great and I met him mom last weekend, it’s weird that he ended things the day after I had dinner with them. Right?

Or maybe he was all in it for the chase? And now that he realized I like him, he’s not interested anymore? I really hope that isn’t the case because he was so nice for the two months we were dating and that makes him even more of a jerk if it was just a game to him.

And the last option, which my girl friends were kind enough to provide, is that he’s scared. He likes me too much and doesn’t want this to get serious. But if that’s true, he’s still a jerk for making me feel like this.

So maybe he just never liked me… and now my faith in nice guys has officially been destroyed.