I feel like I’ve been taken on an adventure over the past week which was kind of exhilarating, but also extremely frustrating. And of course this has to do with The Boy.
We had a three hour conversation last Monday evening. After I told him about my horrible dating story, he told me I shouldn’t settle. He said I was a catch. Then he told me that he had been in a funk since he ended things and that he missed me. He told me that he was still confused, but that he really missed talking to me. He said he likes me, but isn’t sure that we’re “right for each other” or that we “have enough in common”. I asked him what all of this meant. Did he want to try to work things out? He said that he wasn’t sure and that he was really sorry for messing with my head.
We continued talking all week. He initiated each conversation, but I complied. I missed talking to him too.
On Sunday we had another long conversation. He told me that part of him wanted to try again, but that he was scared he would change his mind and he was petrified to hurt me. I told him I needed an answer one way or the other… soon. I couldn’t keep talking every day if we were just going to be friends. I didn’t want to get my hopes up. He said he understood.
Yesterday we talked again. He told me that he decided we should just be friends. I told him that was fine if that’s what he really wanted, but I didn’t want him to throw away this chance just because he was scared of hurting me. He said he couldn’t fully commit to me- some days he thinks he likes me a lot, some days he likes me but feels something is missing, and some days he thinks he is just lonely and wants a girlfriend.
And if that is how he honestly feels then I agree. We should just be friends. I don’t want a guy who is just lukewarm about me. So now begins the real journey of moving on as I attempt to move The Boy into the “friend” compartment.